It was worth it!
If I go to hell for this, I don't care.

Years ago when I got together with my alkie ex we had a night out at a country pub in Derbyshire. It was a beautiful starry summer night and we slept out in a field in our sleeping bags.

I must point out here that I didn't have any idea of what a lying drunken bastard he would soon show himself to be - it was all sweetness and light at that stage.

Back to the story. Apparently in the middle of the night I got up from my bag of sleep, kicked him in the head and broke his nose. Then I went back to bed.

Next morning he wakes up covered in claret and I have absolutely no memory of anything. I was asleep throughout!

I still maintain it was my subconscious trying to warn me about him. How I wished I had listened.

I have no remorse so - bring on the demonic hordes!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 10:46, 11 replies)

ha ha
funny story.
My friend's wife told me that, shortly after they were married, she woke up in the middle of the night to find my friend sternly and determinedly pushing her out of their bed.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:22, closed)

my other half frequently shoves me in her sleep
I'm more of a talker though, and apparently I was singing the other day...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:27, closed)

My flakelets...

often climb in to bed with me...

aww...

they snuggle down like the cute little buttons they are...drift off to sleep...

Then turn into evil, jaggedy, elbow stabbing, gonad-hoofing kung fu mini-bastards.

I don't sleep much these days...and I have nowhere near as much blood as I used to have :(
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:30, closed)

Gah.
I once had a prescription antidepressant induced nightmare that I was in a fight to the death with a crazed nazi in an SS uniform.

I had the bugger pinned down and went straight for the throat. I was drawing back my right fist to land the killer blow for the free world when I heard screaming.

Female screaming.

I woke to find that not only did I have hold of Ex-mrs PJM by the neck, but I was moments from popping her right on the nose.

Whoops

I still think the whole thing was my subconscious trying to tell me something.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:36, closed)

PJM
Perhaps this is more common than we realise!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:41, closed)

I've just posted this on QOTW
My ex-wife has found me on Facebook and it's a matter of time before she sees my b3ta posts.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:43, closed)

Can't you refuse to friend her
on facebook?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:02, closed)

A member of my family posts on here
so I get all the goss morning-fresh.

I tried discreetly warning this person about it but they didn't seem too arsed about their nosy relly knowing all their business.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:29, closed)

Hahaha!
Excellent!

A mate of mine had a similar thing with, but was convinced his ex was a zombie, and "If she opened her eyes he would have to kill her".
Luckily she slept soundly.
( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 11:42, closed)

PJM
I'm keeping quiet about your nocturnal behaviour....



I'm expecting a nice Christmas present.

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:34, closed)

*horns*

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:00, closed)