Forgot about this one.
Pumping up the tyres at Gordano services, was approached by a Neanderthal foreheaded bloke in an ATS work boilersuit and a Bristolian accent so thick you could cut it with a tree branch who wanted a lift a couple of junctions of the M5 as he'd locked himself out of his van and just wanted to get back to the depot to get a spare key.

The story seemed to check out (indeed an ATS van was parked on the petrol pump forecourt) so I nipped into the kiosk to bag the nadir of my travelling life, the Ginsters Ploughman's Roll, and let him into the car.

He wasn't talkative but that was fine with me, just a couple of junctions, no worries, sow a bit of good karma etc. when he started creeping me out, firstly by turning and staring at me as I drove, and then picking up the Ploughman's Roll I'd just bought and turning it over, looking at the wrapping, and then reading out loud from the wrapping.."A...delicious....blend...of...sausage..and...juicy...pickle...and...traditional...cheddar....cheese....with...subtle....herbs...and..spices..." et cetera, until he had read it all, and then just sat with it in his hand looking at me again in eerie silence, unti lI cracked and said "Help yourself if you want, I wasn't that hungry anyway".

Before I even finished the sentence he's torn open the wrapping and started noisily pushing it into his face, crumbs flying everywhere as they do. Then he chucked the wrapper on the floor and said "Got anything to drink?" to which I had to admit, no, I didn't. "Well that's no good, is it?" he growled.

Oh shit. This is not good, how long till the junction he's getting off....if he is?

The next few miles went very slowly because of the traffic but thankfully in silence. Then I pulled off at the appropriate junction and stopped in a layby, asking 'This do you'?

He got out with an exasperated huff and without a word of thanks and slammed the door behind him. I may have fucked off with greater than the normal amount of speed in case he demanded to be dropped off at the door.

Not picked up anyone since.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 Aug 2014, 16:36, 12 replies)

"Man eats sandwich"

(McChinaman banned, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 19:36, closed)

Man Appropriates
Look I didn't set the question. This happened.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:56, closed)

I don't think Hollywood are going to be interested
but I like it
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:02, closed)

Thanks.
Meh. Coulda gone one way or another. At the time , it going 'the wrong way' might have meant me potentially being murdered because I didn't have a can of coke in the car at the time.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 24 Aug 2014, 22:52, closed)

They Prefer a good Ginster's Pasty

(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 18:10, closed)

Your missus posts on here
Ultimately that's a massive hitchhike you saddo
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:16, closed)

alright
tragic illiterate angry internet man
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:20, closed)

This reply,
while accurate, needs a crappily-drawn superhero to illustrate it in order to achieve its full potential. Bonus marks for croissant insignia.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 24 Aug 2014, 20:34, closed)

..who fucks kids. And is friends with Sexface.
I'm not sure what's worse.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 2:05, closed)

^ internet's Man Of Justice.
And allegedly married to Gunty O'Fatgunt.
(SlantedScience, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 4:25, closed)

That's the most inoffensive insult ever made on this forum
I feel very slightly burned as in picking up toast before it had properly cooled after popping up.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 25 Aug 2014, 14:23, closed)

You should feel more insulted that he couldn't be bothered to think of anything better.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 25 Aug 2014, 16:13, closed)