I don't own any game consoles whatsoever.*
I do, however, own more books than my local library branch.

Partly because, if I see a good book in a charity shop, I will buy spare copies to loan to my (book destroying) friends.

So, for example, I have 8 copies of "Memoirs of a Geisha" (in 3 languages), 3 of each of the Roald Dahl books, 2 of each of the 'classics' (Railway Children, Gulliver's Travels, Dickens etc). There's also a comics section- Tintin, Asterix, Serenity, Sin City etc, and an extensive nonfiction section.

I am proud to say that, in this collection, I have NO copies of any Twilight books, or any other fangbanger fiction of any kind. Nor do I have any Dan Brown. Nor, aside from those of comedians such as Dara O Briain, do I own any smegging autobiographies.

*worth stating, since 90% of the posts thus far are about collections of these.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 3 May 2012, 23:50, 18 replies)

Purpose built floor to ceiling book shelves on most empty walls that aren't thoroughfares.
All overflowing with books stacked in front.

If things get really dire financially I may have to check the insurance is paid and buy some matches.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 4 May 2012, 0:08, closed)

Haha

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 0:26, closed)

Are autobiographies suddenly more worthy, if written by comedians, then?
Do your friends ask to borrow your books, or do you foist them upon them (or their children), telling them that they "simply must read this", whereupon they will roll their eyes, take the book home, drop it in the bath, and then give it back, telling you how they really enjoyed it, so as to spare your from the awful truth?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 May 2012, 11:09, closed)

I'm not getting the
"drop it in the bath" ref.
Ris please.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 4 May 2012, 11:41, closed)

I assume it's to make it look more worn

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 11:43, closed)

My god!
You filthy cunts read in the bath!
I am flabbergasted.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 10 May 2012, 7:19, closed)

Sorry,
I forgot that some of us hadn't progressed beyond wipe-clean picture books.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 May 2012, 11:56, closed)

I'd be more worried
that your books are coming back with water damage... are your friends ACTUALLY pissing on your generosity, or are they just pathological droolers?
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 12:49, closed)

My books?
I can't even read.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 May 2012, 13:03, closed)

May I congratulate you on your typing?

(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 6 May 2012, 16:30, closed)

Comedians tend to write their own
while I have an aversion to ghost-written extended 'Heat' articles detailing the wit and wisdom of the year's latest Big Brother kickout.

As to the lending system, my friends do ask to borrow books/ask me to recommend things. The book hoarding thing started AFTER they started asking, since when I recommend a book I tend to want to read it again myself, and it's good to have a spare. :P

And no, I don't get emotionally invested in the plight of every book I lend out. If they don't read it that's their deal.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 11:42, closed)

I guess I shall have to look elsewhere,
for my cheap laughs at someone else's expense.
:P
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 4 May 2012, 11:53, closed)

Hehe
I'm sure my overdetailed responses are amusing enough for now. Heaven knows I have to explain myself to teh interwebz!

Oh, I mean... err... OH GAWD YOU BASTARD why would you say those horrible things my friends read everything I tell them to read and they fucking LOVE it or I yell at them for being so STOOPID and not listening to me when they've all SEEN me driving around in my Honda Accord so they should KNOW I'm the bees knees! etc.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 4 May 2012, 12:48, closed)

How many copies of Catcher in the Rye in there?
Just kidding. Came here to say Roald Dahl's one of my favourite authors. I have warm memories of listening to a teacher reading James and the Giant Peach. Loved Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the movies couldn't do it justice.

Then, as a teen, I discovered his short stories. The one with the nervous wife and the husband who seemed to enjoy torturing her with his deliberate slowness? Delicious!

I once read an anthology (various authors) with a short story about a chef who yearned for Michelin stars (or the fictitious equivalent), and recognised a diner as the food critic, and spent the evening in one catastrophe after another. Including stepping on his cat's tail. He was making a special dish and added something just for her, and then ... Torched the critic's meal or something, in desperation served the critic a dish "a la Minette" I think, which was the cat's name. I've never been able to find it again, fairly sure it was Dahl. If you've got that one, I'd love to know the title. And your hoarding will have been useful once again!
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Sat 5 May 2012, 18:01, closed)

Oh god, that sounds so familiar!
Is it one of his Tales of the Unexpected? (Sorry, I know that's a really obvious answer but I can't think off the top of my head of any others...)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sat 5 May 2012, 23:48, closed)

I've never been able to find it again, so I can't confirm!
I believe it was in a special anthology for subscribers, multiple authors, one of those big books that is sent as a gift-with-subscription, and people keep in their libraries to look educated. So unlikely to be in a bookstore or even listed as a usual publication.

But if I recall correctly, it was a Dahl and so characteristic of his short stories!
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Mon 7 May 2012, 8:44, closed)

Any of these?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roald_Dahl_short_stories
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Mon 7 May 2012, 20:25, closed)

Not on the list. Perhaps I'll realise I've hallucinated the whole thing.
Or it was another author. *sigh*
Dahl wrote the short story about the nervous wife whose husband got stuck in their elevator, didn't he?

I'm going to be searching for this one for ages!
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Tue 8 May 2012, 9:30, closed)