How not to make vodka
1. Brew veggie peelings (include sprouts) with bread yeast in shed until has appearance of pea soup, but smells much worse
2. Wait until parents go out. Rig up home made still using ally bike bottle and plastic tubing tied under cold tap
3. Heat mixture in bottle, stand well back as tube blocks and foul smelling mixture gets blasted over kitchen ceiling
4. Clean kitchen including repainting polystyrene ceiling tiles with dap whitener
5. Spray kitchen liberally with air freshener, go out for long bike ride and hope parents have calmed down on return
6. The end.
(grumpypolecat, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 18:27, 2 replies)

7. Get caught. Mums know their kitchen.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 0:46, closed)

This is EXACTLY the way
they make Stolichnaya.

Except for the kitchen tiles.

And everything else.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:23, closed)