The Wardrobe Showdown
I was 16. My dad and I were carrying an old wardrobe out of the house to take it to the dump. The phone rang, and without thinking he pretty quickly put down his end, letting it drop the last few inches, the jolt of which caused me to lose the grip on my end and drop it on my toe from about a foot up. There was that horrible pause you get when you hurt your foot and it takes a while for the pain to register. I was stood in the hall, face a grimace, teeth clenched against the inevitable agony. It didn't disappoint - I felt like my big toe was going to drop off.

By this time, he was chatting to Mum on the phone (she was still at work), and was not expecting me to march in, hobbling due to my toe, shove him onto the sofa, and call him a twat, The shock was so great, that he kicked me in the balls, at which point I lashed out at the nearest thing, and threw the big, expensive TV off the table onto the floor.

We both knew I'd gone a bit far. We both knew we'd both gone a bit far. When that realisation dawns, 90% of the time, you both decide that this is getting silly and it's time to stop. On this occasion, however, the surreality of the situation (my Dad still not understanding why I was suddenly angry), drove us both onwards towards greater destructiveness.

And so it was, that as I hobbled over and picked up the phone to tell Mum that Dad had just kicked me in the balls, he ran off upstairs, and I watched out of lounge the window as my own TV landed on the lawn. When Mum got home, we both got such a bollocking that the atmosphere in the house didn't return to normal for about a month. I got slightly more sympathy because my big toenail fell off, but I still had to pay for half the cost of the new TVs.

We sort of realised after that that revenge on each other always resulted in worse things for both of us.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 11:23, 2 replies)

are you Laurel and Hardy?

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 12:33, closed)

Nope
Chuckle Brothers
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 13:01, closed)