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This is a question Housemates From Hell III

I once had a flatmate who was so lazy he had a fungus growing in a cup in his bedroom - it was white and whispy so he nicknamed it "Albert". Tell us your tale of living with the disturbed, the odd, the fragile and the downright filthy.

(, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 17:40)
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"Come on then, I've got twenty minutes," said nurse Gladys.
"Blimey, twenty, you're g-g-g-generous. I'll dump my muck in five," replied Arkwright.
Nurse Gladys pushes him on to the table and starts to kiss him. "I love the smell of stale sweat and Old Spice," she whispered. Arkwright breaks from the embrace. "Wait! What if Granville comes back?"
"He won't. You've sent him round the estate. That boy is thicker than the mould around those loaves out there."
"That's not mould that's m-m-m-maturing."
They take off their clothes and start kissing. Granville enters holding a loaf of bread.
"Eer, Mrs. Winthrope doesn't like her loaf," he notices the two embracing. "By eck!"
"G-G-G-Granville get out of here. I'm trying to bust me nut in Gladys."
"Let's make him watch. It will learn him."
"I best get back," Granville uttered.
"No, stay," Gladys fired back.
Granville studies them. He proceeds to touch himself only stopping every time Arkwright makes eye contact.
(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 9:49, 8 replies)
This reads less like erotic fan fiction
and more like a lost episode.
(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 9:57, closed)
Lost was shit.

(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:02, closed)
That was obvious from the trailers.

(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 10:41, closed)
Please decide whether you're writing in past or present tense and stick to it, without swapping around.
Pretty please x
(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 12:46, closed)
bring back Skagra

(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 13:45, closed)
I'm heeere sweetie
never fear!
(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 19:07, closed)
no to all these suggestions

(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 14:04, closed)

Open All Hours - S4 E3 The Housekeeper Caper
(, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 14:59, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 3, 2, 1