Ironing Board
In my first year of uni I was 'lucky' enough to get a room in one of the housing blocks close to campus. Each block had 12 rooms, toilets/showers, kitchen and a communal area with a table, chairs and a large freezer for us to share.

One dinner time we all headed toward the freezer to collect our bulk buy goodies to bang in the oven for 15-20 minutes, only to discover them defrosted and largely unfit for purpose. A few of us tried to cook as much as we could so as not to waste it and the rest was binned.

It transpired that a housemate and all round bell-end from Glasgow who I'll call Alistair (for that was his name) had decided to unplug the freezer so he could instead iron his 'pulling shirt' for a big night out at the local union bar.

After Alistair repeated this stunt another 2 times over the following 3 month period and 'laughed it off', it was decided that he wasn't taking the matter seriously enough.

We trussed him up with his beloved ironing board fixed horizontally across his chest and his hands tied together. This effectively stopped him from using a phone or even leaving the communal room to seek assistance. We left him there for the whole day while we attended lectures/the pub.

He never unplugged the freezer again.
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 15:55, 2 replies)

Should've left him in Soho.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 16:04, closed)

He'd a got sausaged, especially wearing an ironing board.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 16 Mar 2015, 17:27, closed)