tell you what it's a bit chilly today, might put the heating on

(AEthelfrith of Bernicia, Sat 24 Oct 2015, 11:48, 2 replies)

Thrilla in Manilla
Way back when I was a lad, word went around the pub one night that some girl was having a birthday party. So a bunch of us showed up at this apartment, and another bunch showed up, and another.

Then the TV was turned on because the Frazier/Ali fight was being broadcast live. And volume was turned up because twits kept trying to carry on conversations. The fight went on and on as these two men valiantly and slowly beat each other into a bloody pulp.

Of course the birthday girl became upset. She was a hippy and opposed to violence even if it was consensual. We pleaded that the fight would be over soon and then we would go. So okay, and the fight went on.

Finally the TV is unplugged, a fan is yelling 'no,no,no', the girl is crying and her boyfriend is yelling out that the cops are being called.

And that's how I missed the last round of the greatest boxing match ever.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 23 Oct 2015, 18:12, 1 reply)

Does anyone like this?
www.b3ta.com/links/fat_ballbag
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Oct 2015, 18:01, 2 replies)

I was thinking about house trashing parties, as I went to a couple around melbourne in my student days where the whole point of the party was to deliberately trash the house, which don't really count
However, I did go to one party in a house rented by kiwis.
As they didn't have a backyard, for the party the maori blokes had a cut a big hole through the floorboards of the living room with power tools about six foot in diameter, and had dug a pit in the earth below where they'd built a fire pit for a traditional hungi. The hungi was quite tasty, but it struck me that they might have some issues getting their rental deposit back.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 22 Oct 2015, 23:30, 2 replies)

I went to a house party once
And at the end a mate offered to give me a lift home, but only if we stopped to buy massive drugs first.

So we did. Then we wrote his car off by hitting the inside of an arch of a railway bridge.

I actually shat in my pants. Woke up with the car upside down and bum gravy running down my legs. Took my pants off and legged it when I realised A. The car was upside down and B. I was alone in a car on fire.

I managed to make it back to the party with no clothes on other than a t shirt.

The taxi drivers face when he picked me up was kind of sexy.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 22 Oct 2015, 23:15, 5 replies)

ltj bukem sex pested my mate at a post - club party at her flat in Aberdeen in 1998.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Oct 2015, 12:43, 6 replies)

MASSIVE DRUGS

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Oct 2015, 12:25, 1 reply)

wondering why my girlfriend and my best mate won't let me into the bathroom
I mean, what the hell? Who wouldn't be suspicious?

Eventually they relented after I assured them no-one else was by the door, only to find them both shovelling their drug-induced vomit from the blocked bathroom sink out of the window to fall 10 stories below. I helped by keeping watch and laughing at them (and in relief at my two most important relationships being not ruined, my suspicious self).

It was a penthouse party in a rundown shithole of a place by the sea, and the party left it in no better state as it was a moving-out party in a town where no-one ever got their deposit back regardless, so you may as well trash the joint rather than clean it. A month later we rented it out ourselves, I mean a seaside penthouse is a seaside penthouse shithole or not.
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Thu 22 Oct 2015, 6:15, 1 reply)

I love you you fucking evil bastard
I was dressed as the devil and my friend was tripping. She sat next to me for ages rapidly alternating between the "I love you, you're ace" ramble and being terrified of me and calling me an evil cunt. Happy times.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 21 Oct 2015, 20:37, 1 reply)

Noel's House Party!
NOELSPIN!!!!!!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Oct 2015, 17:35, 1 reply)

RT: @mint @reem #houseparty #pants&ass

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Oct 2015, 10:04, 3 replies)

A Fishy Tale
In the late 70's, kid's house parties were rife. Parents were often at the local social club till the early hours, which meant unattended kids had parties with fags, weed and booze - not in massive supply - but enough for inhibitions to ebb away.

One night, armed with bottles of Clan Dew and packs of 10 Players No6, we descended on this house, the owners we didn't know, but gained entrance given our combined scent of Red Lebanese. One of the lads with us was "Suddy". Suddy was a tall unkempt character - a cross between Goofy and an unkempt Mick Jagger that smelt of piss. He also was utter nuts and had many issues.

The party was throughout the house, but the real commotion was in the kitchen. The owners "had" a large collection of tropical fish, and had left the usual tools by the tank. Suddy had took the little net, fished out all the exotic fishies, and fried them!

Yes, in a frying pan. Alive.

Being northen, you can't have fish without peas, so he'd took a tin of marrowfat peas from the cupboard and put those in too.

After a quick stir of the mess, we unanimously decided it was best if we did one. So off we fucked.

The sight of Tropical Kedgeree a la Manchester has never left me.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Wed 21 Oct 2015, 9:42, 3 replies)