*Opens can of worms*…

Now I may be classed as ‘a bit materialistic’ (Read: as tight as a gnat’s chuff…in a vacuum, which has been placed in a vice, closed pneumatically, then had the handle of the vice snapped off), but if there’s one element of hypocrisy that well and truly leaves my cheese out in the wind, it’s the way that Chavs spend their money.

Of the veritable plethora of examples I have, here’s just one.

Quite recently I was in a pub with a couple of mates, and one of them (who just so happens to be a typical Chav, on the Dole and scrounging along by any underhand methods necessary) starts the following conversation:

Mate: “Oh Pooflake, times are hard, I haven’t been paying the rent on my garage and the fucking Bailiffs came round today. I had to hide behind the sofa until they went away!”

Me: “Bailiffs? By the hanging fuck-baskets of Babylon that’s serious! How much do you owe?”

Mate: “40 Quid”

Me (naively): “Why, in the name of Mariella Frostrups’ leathery saddlebags, are Bailiffs coming round for just 40 quid?”

Mate: “Weeeeeeelllll…that is 7 weeks rent”

Me: “Mmmmfff! £5 a week, Is that all? And you still haven’t paid! For fuck’s purple throbbing sake! Why don’t you just pay up?”

Mate: *simpers* “It’s alright for you Poo, you’ve got a job, I’m on the ‘rock’n’roll’, I can’t afford £5”

Me: “Hmmm...It’s your round”

Mate: “Righty ho” *staggers off and buys round*

Cost of round of drinks £7.50

Number of rounds we had already drunk that day: 5
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:40, 6 replies)

The number of children in my class
with shoes and clothes that don't fit and are full of holes would make you cry. Yet their mums pick them up from the school gates with a cigarette on the go.
Can't afford to clothe your children yet can afford B&H. You need to to get your priorities sorted.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:46, closed)

hear, hear...
Drove me nuts having to serve chavs in our shop.

That is all.

Joking apart, some of them would try to spend their "healthy start" vouchers on tobacco and alcohol. They're meant to help low-income families afford fresh fruit and vegetables for your young children, not expand your adddiction-budget.

And it's not as if you don't have time to cook healthily, just cut less than an hour a day from your generous pub- and TV-time budget; and you'd be able to give them cheaper and healthier meals than the take-ways and ready meals you stuff them with, with the added bonus that they won't bounce of the walls as much, due to reducing their additive-load.

It would be interesting to see how disposable income actually compares, for you vs. chav friend. I know that in my old job, I'd probably have been wealthier not working; which gives me some sympathy for people 'stuck' on the dole, their only possible employment (on minimum-wage, a long bus-ride away) would mean taking an effecitve pay-cut.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:04, closed)

The English language.
Who would have thought that a language that gave us "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks" and "Half a league, half a league half a league onward" could also deliver such gems as "By the hanging fuck-baskets of Babylon" and "Why, in the name of Mariella Frostrups’ leathery saddlebags".

Poetry, sheer poetry.

*Click*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:48, closed)

I'm afraid I can't account for the 'leatheryness' by experience...
But I imagine that they are

EDIT: Actually, Cap, I bet you have a bloody good idea who the Chav mate to whom I'm referring to is?...and the pub, that is constantly teeming with his type and the type mentioned by Mrsliveinabin's reply?

We're better off out of there mate ;)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:51, closed)

I can and have
lovely voice though.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 15:52, closed)

Oh I dunno..........
The place has it's own peculiar charm.

Oh right, THAT place!

In that case, no. No it doesn't.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 18:19, closed)