Smoking and farting
In the early 80`s tech rooms were two sorts, something very dust and particle sensitive was in its own filtered room , because it was usually expensive. Manned areas had non dust sensitive stuff, so smoking was still allowed. Most didn`t light up in a small room full of fans in the electronics `cos it quickly turned into into a smokechamber unless it was just the odd drag because you couldn`t leave something unattended.

One person was different and would chainsmoke ( because he didn`t actually do any work unless forced) and it was out of order, but he objected voiciferously if anyone sifted a smelly one.

The cunning plan involved a couple of us when we knew we would be in there, night before egg curry, beans masala , channa dhal(beans), mehti gosht ( also known as a mighty gust), saag (spinach) Guinness and Draught Bass. ( not recommended, there is no quck quench to stop what happens next when you have had enough)


This was heady stuff, I Belsened the shower that morning, and was doing intermittent hovercraft impressions, then let loose the drafts of war on him " oh that`s disgusting, my cigarette tastes awful!".

Joined by my colleague at late shift start, we stank the place out.
He went and complained to our manager about the farting and got met with "But you smoke, so how can you complain?"

It worked, but he just used to leave things unwatched for 10 minutes to have a fag break outside, and we had to do his work, small price to pay though.

(Not sure if this is a partial pearoast, if so apollo`s and for the tiddly edits that should have been pre posting. The menu is not overdone, we had more than that. )
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 16:59, 3 replies)

Not quite on topic but:
Reminds me of when I wrote a new "view" for a database at work, when I tried to install the view I found I could not remotely access the appropriate server because of some problem. So I saved the view on a shared network drive and went to the server room to complete the installation.

It was a quick copy and paste and an opportunity to rid myself of a good quantity of unwanted methane. The server room was small and had its own air conditioning system and so I thought that the stench (it was a bit rank!) would be gone by the time someone else came along.

I locked the door behind me and went back to my desk. A few minutes later one of the IT guys turned up and opened the door to the server room. His anguished choking cries brought the problem to the attention of my boss, but I said nothing and just carried on with my work silently shaking with laughter!
( Vambo, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 17:58, closed)

In that very room....
in the old days of broadcast an engineer would be riding all the cameras in the studio for colour and exposure while the programme was being made, and back in the apparatus room mission control for all the studios was a late and an early man. Lunchtime was swap over and late man came in at 12 for lunch relief then went to get his when early man was back UNLESS it was agreed in at 1 having eaten, or there was problem early man was holding together and would take too long to explain in the time before they broke the studio for lunch.

I came in at 12 and there was minor problem so that my oppo said go first I`ll be done in 35 mins.

So nothing unusual, into the social club for a wet and a wad ( pint and bar sandwich/ploghmans....)

The night before i had been on the pop with some friends, and the well known kebab monster had hit, but apart from kebab mouth when i woke up, all was fine. 2 pints of youngs finest ale started to catalyse a reaction.
Got back at 1, got the rundown of what i had to fix and while I was standing there, I "seeped" a silend fart that warmly eased itself out and it was a long one that I just knew had to be very smelly. " sorry Col" what for? still no smell. Behind the bays was "fuck me! smells like a rats died!" the aircon/fans, wafted it away through the ceiling plenum and down with the cold air no one else standing around me caught a whiff but 20 feet away replugging a piece of temp gear the poor sod got it nearly pure.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 21:35, closed)

I think you definitely deserve points
for using Belsen as a verb there
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 19:18, closed)