swearing
My gran reckoned you shouldn`t swear in front of children and had a workaround that it took me until I learned to use a dictionary to suss.
"fornicating" was one and inspired my use of the term "nofather" in front of kids.

Mum told me this one, I was too young. I was being minded by gran so we went to the shops, the short way through the allotments and beside the local park via a little lane/alleyway
For some reason the local dog owners used it as a dog toilet, probably after the park as you got fined a now ludicrously small amount in old money for dog dumps.
It had a nickname, guess?

We got back to grandad and mum and dad who were living there ( so that puts me at about3 years old) and Grandad asked me where i`d been today
"dog shit alley"
All convulsed with laughter and gran was mortified which made it funnier.

Kids have fickle memories and the last and loudest thing shouts out first. I couldn`t have got it from anywhere else.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 13:57, 1 reply)

We had one of those
More subtley titled 'dog poo lane'

Innocent times :)
(chili_kitten Cheese, peas and honey bees, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 19:35, closed)