Bringing up the children
I have two lovely daughters. I do my best not to be hypocritical with them, and encourage them to question my statements and debate / argue with me as they see fit. I don't think I've ever used the words "we'll see" when I mean "no", nor just said "because I say so" as a reason for them to do / not do something.
God it's hard being a parent though. Because you have to instruct them to do things you know you didn't / don't do.

My relationship-life is a complete mess. I'm just not good at them, it appears. I don't set out to be a failure in this department, but if I have an Achilles heel, my love life is one of them.

So when my eldest asks for relationship advice - as she does, which is good - I have to tell her to do the opposite of what I do:

"don't rush in"
"hold back"
"make sure you don't let friendships go"
"don't fall too quickly"

This from the man whose recent marriage has been measured in weeks. Hmmm.

So I set the worst possible example to them. And it drives me mad. I just hope that the general rule that kids do the opposite of their parents holds true.

Because I wouldn't want them to fuck up as badly as their dad has done. No self-pity, this is my doing; just hope the love I show them means they don't fall for the wrong people to receive what you think at the time is love, but which turns out not to be...
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 9:39, 6 replies)

I can't really comment because I'm not a parent.
But being a child of a parent who kept having relationship problems I can comment on. They will probably learn from your mistakes and make completely different mistakes of their own. At least they have the loving parent to help them out of whatever mess they get themselves into. That is what counts the most.
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:03, closed)

Your children will be fine
You love them and that shows and that really does count for alot. Nice one, matey.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:11, closed)

That's not hypocrisy
That's trying to explain what you know to be the right thing to do, despite - or because - of your own inability to do it yourself.

My daughter's not even a year old and already I'm worrying about her finding out about my decades of debauchery. Any kind of moral instruction coming from me, in the light of such information, is going to come across as hypocrisy of the highest order.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:12, closed)

The joy
of parenting. As long as they know you love them that's all they need.
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 10:35, closed)

Sounds like your doing fine
:-)
(Save Us All !!!, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:16, closed)

Aww everyone
thanks for the lovely comments.

I had to think I was doing something right when I spoke to my eldest two days ago. I got a quick "Hi Dad, call me back" call from her mobile. When I called back I teased her, saying she had 100s of minutes, had she spent them all chatting to her new boyfriend ?

"Well, two days ago I called you for 45 minutes, then we spent an hour on the phone last week..."

At her age (21) I think I spoke to my parents for that duration on the phone over an entire year.

So something must be right...

Thanks again
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 11:51, closed)