*Almost* horrific
A month ago, my friends and I went holidaying in Menorca. The weather was hot but quite windy and there were some fairly impressive waves to be had so we decided to pur-chase some boogie boards and have a bit of a mini-surf (as we are all too ghey and frightened to have a crack at proper surfing).
All was well, we were having a right laff bobbing around on our boards, when suddenly I saw what I thought was a little jellyfish, about the size of a mushroom. "Pah" thinks I, "t'is no jellyfish, there is nought to be frightened of in these fine Menorcan waters!" and carried on my boogie boarding.
Then I felt this bloody awful sting between my legs, like nettle-stings but more hardcore, and after looking behind me I see that it is indeed a little jellyfish. I legged it to the beach and looked out to sea, and noticed about 50 of the little buggers dotted about in the shallows. I notified my friends of this and a "GET OUT OF THE WATER" type stampede reminiscent of Jaws ensued.
The time came to inspect my now trobbing undercarriage. I found a blotchy jellyfish sting high up on my inner-left thigh, about one inch from my tuppence. So ... not really a rudey-bits injury but it so nearly could have been. My blood still runs cold when I think if the jellyfish had stung an inch to the right and masacred my bean.

No apologies for breadth or depth, the jellyfish obviously didn't care.
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 10:44, Reply)