Hmmmm got a few of these....
Over my 30 years on the planet I'm just beginning to realise that I am actually shit with money. If I've got it, it gets spent...

Tag Heuer watch (wear it every day, so not too bothered really)
Radio controlled tank. Pile of plastic shit thats been gathering dust for the past 3 years (yep I was in my late twenties when I bought a toy aimed at 10 year olds)
Gibson Les Paul Jr... MMMmmmmMMmmmmmm... I fucking love this guitar even though I am the shittest guitarist since Shitty McShit the one fingered axe banger lost his last finger in a freak string changing accident...

My latest stupid buy came a couple of months back...

Now a bit of back story.
I spend a massive amount of time driving (30-40'000 miles a year) and need to carry a boot full of equipment, so what I drive is pretty important to me. I'm probably in my car more than anywhere else except my bed, so when my last steed ticked past the 200'000 mile mark (yes really!), I decided it was about time to blow what little savings I had on a new chariot...

Hours turned to days then to weeks as I trawled the internet for second hand vehicles. I read reviews, checked common faults, and became an expert in the sub £5000 used car market.

'How big is the boot?'
'How much tax am I going to have to pay to the corrupt cunts that run our fair isle?'
'How many miles can I travel before suckling at the teat of texaco'
'Is it going to explode in a fireball leaving me a charred shell of flesh and bone gripping the mangled steering wheel?'
'Can it get Radio 2?'

Are just some of the myriad of questions I asked of the cheap suited 'salesmen' I met on my travels...

...So I bought a fucking Land Rover...

I saw a Freelander, decided I liked it, bought it.

A. FUCKING. LAND. FUCKING. ROVER!!!

Shit MPG
Shit handling
Shit reliability
Expensive to run

(Big boot though)



(Pop, first post, Woo yay! Apologies for my penis, Honda Accord etc. etc. etc.)
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:25, 9 replies)

Alfa Romeo V6
All of the above, except the boot wasn't big.

It made an amazing noise though... I don't regret that purchase one tiny bit!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 May 2009, 13:32, closed)

MMMmmmmm...noisy Alfa...
I want!
Bollocks to the sensible stuff - when you buy an Alfa you are buying a big fuck of slice of cool...

*looks for cheap Alfha Romeo on fish4cars*

Edited for being a twat who can't spell Alfa
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:51, closed)

It's ALFA
not Alpha.

Look, it's written on big shiny letters on the website, the car, the promotional materials and the reviews. And all over teh electronical interwebs.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:35, closed)

This post rocks!...

Brilliantly written - funny as fuck.

welcome to B3ta...I look forward to more posts of this quality.

*clicks like a frenzy*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:50, closed)

.
*blush*
*wanks*
*remembers I'm in the office*
*storms out and drive around the place intimidating the drivers of smaller cars*
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:55, closed)

Oh crikey
The early versions were officially the least reliable cars on the road.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 14:13, closed)

Did a similar thing
"Hmm, so I need a reliable, cheap first car."

Ford Probe. 2ltrs of almost-sporty looking, leather-clad luxury.

Ford Probe breaks and is in the garage for a while. I need a new car.

"So, I need something reliable and cheap to insure"

BMW 320.

So I'm now stuck paying about £300pm in insurance for two cars. 8 months after I started driving.
And I wonder why I don't have any money...
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 21 May 2009, 15:38, closed)

Freelander!!!
you fool.
Next saturday take your best mate down to the pub at lunch time for an all day session with you paying. Hand him a hammer and say "every time you feel like it smash my hands with this hammer , do it as often and as hard as you like. In fact i will give you £50 every time you hit me."
I can assure you this will be cheaper and less painful than owning a sodding freelander.
PS whats broken already??
(welgar, Thu 21 May 2009, 17:05, closed)

.
Nothing has broken on my mighty freelander of justice! And it add a certain exitement to driving - The thought that at any time you could leave a large chunk of transmission spread over the motorway...
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 21 May 2009, 19:01, closed)