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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

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Why does phil collins like to wank out of an upstairs window after dinner?
so he can feel it coming in the air tonight
(, Tue 28 May 2019, 11:25, Reply)
What is Phil Collins' favourite Chinese branch of a Swedish high-end audio retailer?
Suzhou Sudio.
(, Fri 24 May 2019, 22:58, Reply)
Wh-What's Ph-Ph-Phil C-C-C-C-Collins' fa-fa-favourite pu-pu-pu-puzzle?
Su-su-su-doku.
(, Wed 22 May 2019, 14:38, Reply)
The only joke I've ever actually created:
(Context - when the big art installation of decorated fibreglass cows was going from city to city around Europe, I was playing in a bar in Zurich. Question to the audience in between numbers.)

Ein Kuh mach Muh.
Machen viele Kühe Mühe ?

I guess you had to be there.
(, Wed 22 May 2019, 12:12, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
I'm not a big fan of levers,
I mean, they have their moments, but people tend to talk them up too much.
(, Sat 18 May 2019, 21:45, Reply)
A woman is having a shower when the doorbell rings.
She gets out to answer the door but realises there is no towel in the bathroom, so she puts on her robe, grabs a clean towel from the airing cupboard and wraps it around her wet hair. She peeks through her broken blinds and sees a man wearing sunglasses and a shirt that reads SMITH'S BLIND REPAIRS. "Well," she thinks, "I know they said they'd be here first thing, but he's a little earlier than I expected. She opens the front door.

The man says: "Good morning, love. I'm here to fix your blinds."
He thinks to himself: "Cracking tits, I wish she'd answered the door naked."
(, Thu 16 May 2019, 13:20, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
How do they put the holes in a colander?





Sieve I care.
(, Wed 15 May 2019, 22:13, Reply)
What do you call a monkey in a bunker?
.
.
.
.
.
A bunkey.
(, Mon 13 May 2019, 20:47, 4 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
What does Phil Collins instruct his lawyers to do when he wants to initiate triple legal action against deceased Rainbow singer Ronnie James?
Sue-sue-sue Dio.
(, Fri 10 May 2019, 22:14, Reply)
How do you know if Phil Collins has got root on your system?
Su-su-sudo.
(, Fri 10 May 2019, 19:40, Reply)
Which reggae singer resembles a radiant heating appliance for generating thermal radiation for outdoor use?

Patio Burner!!!
(, Wed 19 Dec 2018, 11:42, Reply)

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