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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, ... 1

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What do you call a cunt who writes on underwater boats?
Subscribe you cunt
b3ta.com/subscribe
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 19:44, Reply)
How many Tourette's sufferers does i-SOAPY TIT WANK!
Bum. :/
(, Fri 16 Aug 2019, 15:56, Reply)

She asked me this morning: "At what time are you leaving?", to which I replied: "Brexit."

(which means NEVER lol)
(, Sun 11 Aug 2019, 12:26, Reply)
What's brown and driving home for christmas?
Chris Diarrhea
(, Thu 8 Aug 2019, 13:42, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
What's the worst type of cake?
Backache.


Or neckache.







Or ballache.
(, Sat 3 Aug 2019, 16:42, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
"How did you get on in the wanking competition, darling?"
"Well I didn't come first, but I held my own."
(, Sat 27 Jul 2019, 20:25, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
An investigator.
(, Wed 24 Jul 2019, 17:58, Reply)
What's yellow and very dangerous?
China.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2019, 1:26, Reply)
I went to the zoo, but all they had was one small dog.
It was a shit zoo.
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 16:37, 2 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
What's got eight legs and is able to score shit despite never leaving the closet?
the x-factor judging panel
(, Tue 16 Jul 2019, 7:12, Reply)
Did you hear about the naked waiter on minimum wage?
He's barely putting food on the table
(, Thu 11 Jul 2019, 0:41, Reply)
Midnight conversation
"I'm a bat!"
"You're an Owl!"
"I'm a Bath Towel!"
(, Wed 10 Jul 2019, 19:42, Reply)
How do you know
when there's a singer at your door?
They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
(, Sat 6 Jul 2019, 14:10, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
Two Monkeys
Two Monkeys in a bath
"OOooOOOo EEEEEeeeee AH HA hahahAAAH!"

"Listen, if its that hot, put some cold in"
(, Fri 5 Jul 2019, 21:09, Reply)
Why did the feminist keep overeating at Greggs?
It was the fault of the pastriarchy
(, Fri 5 Jul 2019, 7:12, Reply)
Dancing on ice is launching in China. Except its set in a paddyfield.
yep.. "Dancing on Rice"
(, Wed 3 Jul 2019, 19:30, Reply)
I once wrote a one-line story about the refractive properties of glass but it was so bad I got a prism sentence.

(, Tue 2 Jul 2019, 11:17, Reply)
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman asks "Why the long pause?"
The horse replies "Cot death".
(, Sun 30 Jun 2019, 4:35, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
My doctor out me on a seafood diet.
I can eat what comes from the sea.
(, Sat 29 Jun 2019, 22:24, Reply)
Why didn't Billy Idol start the fire?
Sorry I've mucked this one up. Why didn't get Billy Idol get arrested for starting a fire. Arson. Why didn't Billy Idol. Billy Joel. Why didn't Billy Joel get arrested for arson?
Because we, I mean he, didn't start the fire!
(, Tue 25 Jun 2019, 3:43, 3 replies, latest was 2 years ago)
I heard a really good joke about UDP
But you might not get it
(, Fri 21 Jun 2019, 14:51, 1 reply, 2 years ago)
I was at my old rave club last week, but it was so rundown that stray animals had found a way in and were eating peoples stashes
The place had gurn to the dogs
(, Tue 18 Jun 2019, 11:03, Reply)
Dougie the Dog
Took Dougie our dirty hairy dog to be clipped the other day. I told the groomer I wanted him clipped right back. He came out all clipped and clean and immediately went into his favourite tree impression...of a Douglas Fir. Sorry! Probably could have told that a bit better too.
(, Tue 11 Jun 2019, 13:48, Reply)
Did you hear that the alphabet died?
Died from a vowel obstruction.
(, Mon 10 Jun 2019, 11:18, Reply)
My dog has no dictionary
How does it spell terrible?
(, Thu 6 Jun 2019, 14:00, 1 reply, 2 years ago)

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