Take my Mother-in-law...
There's a reason there are so many bad jokes about mothers-in-law. You don't choose them, they just come along as emotional baggage with your object of affection. I'm lucky, my m-i-l is lovely*, but don't let that put you off telling us how mad your in-laws really are.
*No, really
( , Thu 8 Sep 2005, 9:48)
There's a reason there are so many bad jokes about mothers-in-law. You don't choose them, they just come along as emotional baggage with your object of affection. I'm lucky, my m-i-l is lovely*, but don't let that put you off telling us how mad your in-laws really are.
*No, really
( , Thu 8 Sep 2005, 9:48)
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Take my mother-in-law.....please.....
After the somewhat traumatic birth of our first child, I went outside the hospital for a well needed cigarette and to ring everyone and tell them the news that I wouldn't be sleeping for the next five years or so.... On ringing my mother-in-law, I was informed by her partner that she was already on her way to our house.....a fact that nobody else seemed aware of, least of all me.....
When I finally left the hospital later that night, I arrived home to find her sitting next door with the neighbours drinking tea. WTF???
She then proceeded to spend the next five days expecting to be waited on hand and foot, whilst I was back and to the maternity ward trying to prepare for the arrival home of our little bundle of joy. I took her into the hospital the following morning to introduce her to her my first born, where she was greeted by my better half saying "Hello mother, hasn't your son-in-law given you a lovely grand-daughter...?" To which she replied the now immortal line "Well Helen, there is always the sperm-bank, you know...."
How we chortled as I laughingly felled her with a forearm smash..... (warning: this last sentence may contain traces of untruth)
To make matters worse, on the day they were due home from the hospital, she very kindly(!) stayed at home to prepare the house for the impending arrival. At the time we had a very old, and very infirm cat, who could no longer negotiate the cat flap, and had to have a litter tray. We arrived home - the proud parents and the beautiful baby - to be greeted by a smell second only to some of last week's QOTW answers, because the cat had be-fouled itself, and the mother-in-law felt she was above such menial tasks as emptying a litter tray. The following row was a joy to behold, as my wife - bless her - basically and somewhat succinctly pointed out to her mother that it might be best for all concerned if she re-mounted her broomstick and fuck off into the sunset, which , I am delighted to report, she did......
Now who said there was no such thing as a happy ending?
( , Thu 8 Sep 2005, 10:20, Reply)
After the somewhat traumatic birth of our first child, I went outside the hospital for a well needed cigarette and to ring everyone and tell them the news that I wouldn't be sleeping for the next five years or so.... On ringing my mother-in-law, I was informed by her partner that she was already on her way to our house.....a fact that nobody else seemed aware of, least of all me.....
When I finally left the hospital later that night, I arrived home to find her sitting next door with the neighbours drinking tea. WTF???
She then proceeded to spend the next five days expecting to be waited on hand and foot, whilst I was back and to the maternity ward trying to prepare for the arrival home of our little bundle of joy. I took her into the hospital the following morning to introduce her to her my first born, where she was greeted by my better half saying "Hello mother, hasn't your son-in-law given you a lovely grand-daughter...?" To which she replied the now immortal line "Well Helen, there is always the sperm-bank, you know...."
How we chortled as I laughingly felled her with a forearm smash..... (warning: this last sentence may contain traces of untruth)
To make matters worse, on the day they were due home from the hospital, she very kindly(!) stayed at home to prepare the house for the impending arrival. At the time we had a very old, and very infirm cat, who could no longer negotiate the cat flap, and had to have a litter tray. We arrived home - the proud parents and the beautiful baby - to be greeted by a smell second only to some of last week's QOTW answers, because the cat had be-fouled itself, and the mother-in-law felt she was above such menial tasks as emptying a litter tray. The following row was a joy to behold, as my wife - bless her - basically and somewhat succinctly pointed out to her mother that it might be best for all concerned if she re-mounted her broomstick and fuck off into the sunset, which , I am delighted to report, she did......
Now who said there was no such thing as a happy ending?
( , Thu 8 Sep 2005, 10:20, Reply)
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