PJM's guide to safe mountain biking.
When taking part in any extreme sport, it's advisable to inspect your equipment and ensure that it's in tip top condition to minimise the risk of breakage and injury whilst on the trails. A negligent rider experiencing a mechanical failure will tell you that there's nothing worse than coming off suddenly and ruining an otherwise excellent ride.

Here's a list of things to look out for on your mountain bike before you take to those gnarly trails.

Gussets and frame damage

A bicycle frame is manufactured from either aluminium, steel or carbon fibre. The weak points of the frame are usually the areas where one tube has been welded to another and is usually the point where fatigue is likely to manifest itself by cracking. Some frames feature small reinforcing gussets to strengthen the joints. Because they're under stress, it's absolutely essential that you make sure that your gusset area is carefully checked for signs of an obvious crack. The gusset helps reinforce the head tube area of your frame and because this particular part of the frame is subject to frequent stress, cracked metal here may be a sign of imminent frame breakage, sudden gusset failure can have extremely messy consequences if you are thrown head first over the handlebars without warning.

Any hint of gusset damage should be taken very seriously before you attempt to swing a leg over the saddle.

Suspension Settings

Suspension forks are usually filled with damping oil which dampens out impacts which would otherwise be felt by the rider. it stands to reason that a buttery smooth stroke action will reward with less strain on the wrists, so careful maintenance will pay dividends. Likewise, making sure that the rebound is controlled will prevent the fork from bouncing repeatedly into your face during a strenuous ride.

Forks themselves are generally robust, depending on the manufacturer but inadequate sealing can mean that oily fork fluid is forced past the fork seals themselves. The tops of the legs should always be checked for signs of dampness before mounting the bike.

If fitted, rear suspension needs attention too. The rear shock is responsible for keeping the wheel in contact with the ground and maintaining traction/braking. The diligent mountain biker will therefore carefully inspect the shaft of the shock before weighting the saddle and pounding it firmly a few times. Although a small amount of fluid leakage at the end of the shaft is perfectly normal if the oil seepage is excessive then your shock may require a rebuild.

Like the forks, the rear shock features rebound adjustment to ensure that the bike does not buck and writhe underneath you too much whilst riding vigorously. You should ensure that your suspension is adjusted so that the saddle isn't pummelling you from behind and throwing you off balance .

Brakes

Your brakes are the most important component of your bike and should be in tip top condition at all times. With hydraulic brakes, fluid forced along a tube is responsible for pressing the brake pads against the rotor and slowing your down. If your bike has stood unused for a length of time, it's worth buying a brake bleeding kit which works by sucking the fluid out of the end of the hose until not a drop is left of the old brake fluid. The brake is then refilled with new brake fluid, pumped a few times until it becomes firmer in your fingers and you're ready to go again.

Wheels

Spoked wheels maintain their strength by virtue of the fact that the wheel is under considerable tension. A tired wheel may well feel disappointingly floppy when you grasp it with both hands and twist it from side to side. A loose wheel is going to buckle sooner or later, but there are remedial actions you can take.

The spoke is joined to the rim by small metal nipple. Extreme caution should be exercised if you should happen across a buckled rim, make sure that you use a high quality nipple tensioner and gently tweak the nipple quarter of a turn at a time. Take it slowly and you'll last the distance with a stronger and more responsive wheel.

Lubrication

Selfishly grinding away without ensuring everything is carefully lubed first is a no-no. The cassette in particular should be oiled so that each of the gears spins smoothly. Check for lubrication by running your finger along the length of the chain. If the residue is dark and gritty, then you'll need to clean the drivetrain and relube everything. Likewise, too much oil attracts dirt and can quickly damage a chain. Tell tale flecks of oil on the frame itself can be a giveaway that you've been overdoing the oiling. Many a time I've seen a considerable amount of lube dripping from the flange between the chainstay and the bottom bracket.

Final preparation

Your clothing should be up to the task too. Always wear a cycle helmet and make sure that your helmet is never dropped or subject to weakening impacts. Some riders use an old pillowcase to cover the helmet with a protective sheath while not in use.

That's the important points covered. Your trusty steed is now ready for the outing so mount her quickly and enjoy an exhilarating ride before you go off the boil.

Enjoy the ride, but try not to take too many risks out there. Only last week I fell off balance and almost forced it into a nearby crevice unexpectedly . It gave me a fright I can tell you! However, I yanked back hard and avoided ending up in the dirt track which headed in the wrong direction.

What?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 16 Jun 2008, 16:53, 17 replies)

I think that thumping noise
was the sound of Tourettes 'sploding with delighted glee.

*big click*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 16:56, closed)

hahaha
best yet. *clicks*

I was beavering away on my bike for 7 hours yesterday. There were quite a few slow patches here and there, and it took ages to get started, but the speed we managed to get up to near the end was well worth the long build up.

I now have a very sore bottom.


What?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 16:57, closed)

Dynamite :o)
I'm snonking coffee through my nostrils!

This is right up my alley
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:00, closed)

Well done
on the magnificent ride Bob. Did you make it up the Beacon?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:00, closed)

@ al
I'm imploding with mirth :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:01, closed)

Hey Al
Yeeeees...I did make it up the beacon, but only by pushing my bike (I'm not a good enough cyclist to be able to make it up the beacon at a fast pace, and it was simply too crowded to go terribly slowly: I couldn't stay upright going so slowly, so just walked). Magnificent views from the top though.

And I got a hot roll from a scout. (ooh-er!)
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:04, closed)

I know the feeling
not about getting hot rolls from a scout, obviously. I meant the business of the London to Brighton route. If you fancy a similar challenge, but on a nicer route you can try this one .

edit - business - should really read busyness, is that a word? I mean that the route is busy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:11, closed)

Hmmmmm
so how come chickenlady has a bruised bottom then? Or is that another story entirely ....

*click*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:12, closed)

Lordy...
I thought I was bad...

A gem in a sea of snappy one-liners without a lot of substance.

*Click*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:20, closed)

@al
ooh, that does look good. There's also one from Hyde Park to Southend that they were giving out leaflets for...

EDIT: arse. It's the day after UNKLE play Somerset House. Doubt I'll be in a fit state to do anything...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:21, closed)

Coast to Coast
Hmm... I like the look of that!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:23, closed)

Very well written
I am now well prepared if I ever take to mounting this type of equipment.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:29, closed)

@PJM
Yes, Mr BobFossil has done the coast to coast a couple of times (up in t'North), says it's fantastic.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:31, closed)

Coast to Coast
my boss is about to embark on this next week.

The mad fool.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 17:38, closed)

Paraphrased
Isn't this essentially a mashup of what Mr Gimlet says in a selection of Finbarr Saunders strips from Viz?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 18:25, closed)

Mashup?
I don't ever recall a strip in Viz where Mr Gimlet goes into technical detail about mountain bikes...

But surely Finbarr Saunders innuendo is exactly the same as Carry On/Julian Clary/Frankie Howerd style innuendo, no?

Or have I an obvious point?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 17 Jun 2008, 23:32, closed)

Well
It's not that obvious, I think it's more the way your trousers have rucked up when you sat down.

Badum-tish
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 11:03, closed)