Whilst telling obvious lies
may bring you some passing gratification as you smugly look at your screen & congratulate yourself on gaining some popularity among your chosen web based peer group, it will only inevitably lead to a head first plunge into the depths of despair when your lies don't hold up to even the slightest bit of scrutiny. This can only finish badly as you take to your own chosen method of numbing the emotional pain; be it alcohol, heroin or cakes. What started out as a whimsical comment on a comedy based web forum can all to easily end up with you, 6 months from now, lying in your shit stained bed unable to get up as you are too drunk/stoned/fat to move, and what's worse... too full of self loathing to care. Ultimately you will end up deciding that this life isn't worth the emptiness in your soul and the pain in your heart and your rotting cadaver will be discovered only when your neighbours start complaining about the smell and the police knock down your door to find you, belt around your neck and orange in your mouth, face contorted, frozen in time as this one last asphixiwank went to far, your parents weeping as they have to come and identify your corpse surrounded by empty vodka bottles/hypodermic needles/mr kiplings boxes.

Don't become another needless victim, don't be a statistic.

DON'T TELL INTERNET LIES!
(Figmaus, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 0:45, 2 replies)

Have you considered volunteering for the Samaritans?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 0:59, closed)

Oh, dear me, no.
I don't think I could deal with all those depressing people and their morbid thoughts.
(Figmaus, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 1:44, closed)

would you mind
if I posted your reply on some Christian forums.

I think the suggestion that believing in God leads to death by asphyxiwank may create some massive internet craziness.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 13:55, closed)

Fill your boots mate
To be honest the suggestion was more about Internet lies leading to asphixiwank death, the "emptiness in your soul" was really just a literary device, the soul in this case being a part of the ego and a qualifiable part of the human psyche rather than a ethereal death-conquering spirit living within us all.

However feel free to interpret it anyway you want to best serve the purpose of winding up the jesusloonies.
(Figmaus, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:01, closed)

"to far"
Tsk.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:00, closed)

You just went
too fah.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 23 Nov 2012, 9:28, closed)

Fack orf.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 13:16, closed)