my internet saviour
many years ago, when i first got cable, it came with a large keyboard/remote control and access to chat sites. i'd sit up late most nights, chatting to interesting people i'd never meet in real life.
then, i started talking to tim*. tim was a nice bloke, always had a kind word for everyone and seemed quite genuine. we talked every day for ovr a month before i'd tell him the area i lived in, though; i'm not completely stupid! as it turned out, tim lived about 10 miles away from me and suggested that we meet for lunch one day. he said he knew a nice place close to me where we could eat. i knew it well. it was a christian cafe, but it attracted people of every religion(including atheists like me) due to the gorgeous and huge jacket potatoes sold there.
i agreed to meet him the following week.
the day came and i took myself off to meet tim. i wasn't nervous, as we were meeting in a very public place and, as i said, he seemed perfectly nice.
he was already there, waiting at a nice table by the window. we sat down and ordered our food, making smalltalk whilst we waited.
as soon as the food arrived, tim explained his real reasons for wanting to meet me: he was concerned for my eternal soul. i had agreed to meet him without a chaperone, which clearly marked me as a woman of loose morals. he'd seen me use bad language on chat, so that was another black mark. i'd admitted to having relationships with men i HADN'T MARRIED(gasp!) which, to him, was a cardinal sin. he'd chosen that particular eatery because he was a born-again christian who had dedicated his life to saving fallen women he met in chatrooms. i tried to explain that i didn't share his religious beliefs and would appreciate it if he didn't force the issue. it didn't work, he just saw that as my sinful side coming out. when he started to talk about getting me baptised, i left. the fact that he yelled "jezebel!" at me as i walked out of the door cheered me up enormously.
strangely, i never saw him in that chatroom again.


*name changed to protect the religiously challenged
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 15:05, 13 replies)

Awwww man.
Nobody has ever yelled "JEZEBEL!" at me as I left the room.

:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 17:21, closed)

I hear there are places where you can pay for this sort of thing.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 20:47, closed)

That's because you never leave the fucking room,

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 2:12, closed)

Oh I say! How terribly rude.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 13:26, closed)

i will
but it'll involve you leaving the room ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:04, closed)

Haha, I like this QOTW

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 18:06, closed)

I like this.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 2:12, closed)

Jezebel!

( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 9:18, closed)

tim?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:05, closed)

wow
so basically he was desperate to meet some woman, 'save' her and have her eternal gratitude so she could be his little christian wifey. When you were so rude as to not fall straight into this, he had a little paddy!

You should definitely be proud of having 'jezebel' shouted at you like that!
(teasus likes tea, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 15:08, closed)

it's a pity
he was quite good looking
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 14:30, closed)

To the nunnery with you!

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Sun 25 Nov 2012, 0:28, closed)

do they let you get pissed in nunneries?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 14:31, closed)