I met a girl on Match
she looked pretty, she came across bubbly. We agreed to meetup for some drinks.

I put on a nice shirt, jeans, shoes.

I arrived at the bar (actually a hotel) and waited with a beer.

Then she arrived, dolled up to the max. 6" stilettos, shiny pink mini dress, Brunette hair done to the max. She was stunning, but in a trashy Jordan kinda way.

She looked alot like a hooker.

We chatted, I drank, she drank more ( i noticed drinks seemed to evaporate in front of her).

She then decided to tell me all of her history (bear in mind this was more of a meetup and see what you think of each other rather than a date)

Lord help me her history.

She told me she was a stripper in Manchester (half my brain at this point went into celebration mode, the other went into a mild panic. Not GF material, but a hell of a shag on the cards?), and that she used to date one of Head of one of the largest gangs in Liverpool. Alarm bells are starting to ring here.

I had just finished telling her a charming quip about how my car isnt fast, but its a nice runner. But, in return, and quite off topic I was now proceeding to get smashed in the face with facts about her history.. and not nice facts. Bang one after another!

My mind wandered about how out of the norm it was to divulge such secrets to what i was - a complete stranger - a stranger you are looking to date. He has bought you one drink, you have known each other for 90 mins.

"...and then I tried to commit suicide" she said, as i connected back into the converstation again.

"What? wow", I tried to act sympathetic, but I knew I could bolt.. if I wanted to. But hey, Id had a few pints and I couldnt be @rsed, plus I hadnt had s3x in ages, and well, I felt lucky.

"yeah I tried to commit suicide, when my sister found me..just in time apparantly,. but dont worry, this is all well behind me" she laughed - nervously.

"really?" I asked. Well done, "when did this all happen?" I asked, wondering if it was suitable to change the subject yet.

"2 months ago"

*Alarm bells intensify the ringing*

I made my excuses and finished off my beer. She gulped her Double vodka.

"Ok, well, erm, I better get a cab, nice meeting you" I was nearly home and dry, it was an interesting night, not one I want to revisit, I felt kind of embarrassed. What a odd one.

"Lets share a cab" she proclaimed, "you can meet my friends!"

oh dear - I thought. I knew we would find it hard to get a cab from where we were. She knew I lived just beyond were she was going. I couldnt get out of it.

My cab turned up. She just got in, without me agreeing.

She held my hand.

I noticed the stench of cheap perfume. she continued to off load her history, then laugh at how silly it all was. It wasnt. It was scary.

We arrived in Birkenhead - she grabbed my hand, paid the taxi man and proceeded to push me into one of the chavvy bars. Chavvy isnt the word. Where everyone is wearing Lacoste, and rockport shoes, heavily gelled hair, with bottles of VK orange in both hands. Happy hard core bellowed out from all directions.

I got a becks and made it to the edge of the dance floor. The girl found me and proceeded to snog my face off. Wow. This is now becoming difficult. She likes me, and Im scared of her. I am now involved with a nutjob. Who, Im scared might still be suicidal, whom me saying fuck off to, might send her back into Suicidal oblivion.

I just wanted to leave, but every time, I tried, she would grab my arm and introduce me to one of her Scally mates. eventually I convinced her I was in work the next day, and left. Exhausted.


I then copied the text from another unsucessful girl I had met a few days before, talking about "not right for me, you were really nice good luck" sent it to her and deleted her from my phone.

Nut job.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:24, 22 replies)

you missed a trick there
she'd have been absolute filth
(serge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:29, closed)

^ This
Should have smashed her in the clunge.
(Mr Fudge It shouldn't be illegal to have sex with an eagle, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:42, closed)

You're both assuming that she was real here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:47, closed)

which I assure you
she was.

I might try and reactivate my Match profile to find her...
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 25 Oct 2011, 11:21, closed)

Not criticising or anything
but from what you say, her friends are all a bit chavvy, she turns up dressed to the nines - it sounds like she actually put a lot of effort into it.

Course, if she's not your cup of tea, fair enough, but give her a bit of a break, she sounds like she was trying quite hard.
(username failed moderation, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:30, closed)

Hmm,
or maybe a bit co-dependent!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:33, closed)

Nah just your average alkie.
- a shitstorm just waiting to happen.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:34, closed)

No it doesn't, it sounds like she dressed like a slag

(serge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:45, closed)

no way, run like fuck
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 20:36, closed)

She wasnt trying
She had plans to meet her friends, and i was the predrinks to her big night out.

Plus I got the feeling, she dressed like this everyother night. she didnt act classy
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 10:33, closed)

This sounds like something my mate Dan would've done.
Are you him?

All things considered, though. He'd probably have had a whack at her and _then_ sent the text.
(xaer0mancer, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:51, closed)

DAN DAN DAAAAAN DAN DAN DAAAAAAAAAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN DAN DAN DAN DAAAAAAAn




DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

DAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
(serge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 19:23, closed)

He hasn't heard you
(tcp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 20:08, closed)

Lynn
These ARE SEX PEOPLE!!
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 10:04, closed)

Is he an inveterate fantasist too?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:57, closed)

Can you look in your Deleted Items
for that number please?
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 18:00, closed)

Sounds pretty clingy.

I can feel the dual forces of 'commitment' and 'knob-time' making their respective cases.

And when I say 'dual', I mean it in the predictive text sense of the word.
(tcp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 19:14, closed)

My Accord sense is tingling...

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:19, closed)

What I read there was just:
'Oh man, these strippers just keep throwing themselves at me'
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:49, closed)

Wait, you're saying he's SickRik?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Oct 2011, 8:10, closed)

You will have to trust me.
There are a few friends on this site (including brother) who will back me up. This was about 3 years ago.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 13:07, closed)

You should have established her stomping grounds for a night out. All the warning signs were in 'Birkenhead'.
(Fireyfox is prepared to change, Tue 25 Oct 2011, 18:21, closed)