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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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So many stories, so little girth
"Black up, lads", said WO Simmons as we lay in a ditch on some maneouvre out in the English countryside.

The enemy were due any minute, and even in the dead of night, our peachy clean white faces would stick out like sore thumbs.

So, I scooped up a handful of mud and smeared it liberally around my chops to hide me from those bigger, nastier boys and their great big guns.

At least, I thought it was mud.

"Corporal Scary - what the fuck is that smell?"

"Oh shit."

And it was.

Good: no bugger came within twenty foot of me that night.

Bad: three days of the galloping squits.
(, Fri 24 Mar 2006, 12:01, closed)

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