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This is a question In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

I've never been a soldier. I was an air cadet once, but that mostly involved sitting in a mouldy hut learning about aeroplane engines with the hint that one day we might go flying.

Yet, anyone who has spent time defending their nation, or at least drinking bromide-laced-tea for their nation, must have stories to tell. Tell them now.

(, Thu 23 Mar 2006, 18:26)
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Didier Drogba
"sarge I've lost my paint roller."

These were the last words spoken by my mate from the Ivory Coast. Sgt Slaughter piled on him and started beating the shank out of him and pulling his hair and calling him a ninny.

There was nothing us boys could do. Officers were allowed to kill us. We knew this when we signed up. It's the way the army works.

Sgt Slaughter had warned Didier three times to keep his paint roller with him always and this was the last straw. Sarge did have a point, I suppose, if you're under enemy fire the enemy are hardly gonna wait for you to go and get a replacement paint roller are they? No. Course not. They'll shoot your face in.

This didn't stop me feeling a pang of consternation for Didier though. He was a top bloke, and he did the best impression of Sid James you've ever heard.

That night we had a silent game of University Challenge in our barracks in honour of Didier.
It was his favourite show you see.

His paint roller never did turn up.
(, Sat 25 Mar 2006, 9:22, closed)

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