Oh christ, I’ve got millions
However, it is up for SERIOUS debate how irrational they actually are. In my head, they are all totally vindicated.

1. ‘Would of’. AAARRRRGGHHHH you fucking retarded spaztwat. Would have. WOULD HAVE. You need to go and play in traffic.

2. People who ‘check in’ everywhere on facebook. ‘Tom is at Nandos’. ‘Tom is on the toilet’. ‘Tom is at his gran’s funeral ;( LOL’. ‘Tom is going into surgery after crashing his car whilst checking in’. Wazzocks, the lot of ‘em.

3. Stewart Lee. Fuck off you pretentious prick, you are dull and are VERY lucky that there are people out there so desperate to be anti-mainstream that they need to find you funny.

4. The woman at work who talks to herself all through the bastard day. And then gets all uppity when she talks to me and I ignore her, thinking she’s talking to herself. Or when I make myself look like a twat because I answer a question when she’s actually on the phone to someone.

5. All road users besides me. Get out of my way.

6. Every single person who has ever asked me “Did you watch ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ last night?”. Of course I didn’t. Can you see the scar in my head where I had 93% of my brain removed? No, you can’t.

7. That cunt who booted me at football on Thursday because I accidentally elbowed him in the side of the face twice. I now have a red ankle.

8. Every single person who has ever sucked their teeth because they’re annoyed or whatever the reason behind that is.

9. ‘Cool beans’. Oh my fuck.

10. Ashley Cole. So many reasons. Mainly that, if I took a gun to work and shot the work experience kid, I’d lose my job. And the retarded cock was stupid enough to cheat on Cheryl Cole. You’re ASHLEY COLE, OF COURSE YOU ARE GOING TO GET CAUGHT.

11. The people at work who consistently turn up late, despite living two seconds round the corner from the office. I live half an hour away, and even if I hit traffic, I’m still on time. What is your excuse?

12. Adrian Chiles. The man reeks of boring. How he has got to where he is I will never know

13. Fat people who try to blame others for why they are fat. The very young or mentally ill exempt, they have absolutely no one to blame but themselves.


There are so many more but I’m getting myself a bit worked up going through them. May update later….
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sat 2 Apr 2011, 18:25, 14 replies)

cool beans
I can think of no better way to express my feelings on this other than your so aptly stated "oh my fuck". Thank you. *clicks*
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 18:54, closed)

There is no other way to describe it!

( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:36, closed)

9. ‘Cool beans’. Oh my fuck.
I like to say 'cool beans'
And Adrian Chiles is a nice bloke.
( The_Commander_of_Skips wears his sunglasses at night, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 19:55, closed)

You
can add yourself to that list as well! I'm not very tolerant of people who don't agree with me!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:31, closed)

If 'The people at work who consistently turn up late' start late they stay late, you could put on a burst of speed and pick up ten minutes so you have a natural advantage over them surely?
(Benzyl, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 20:38, closed)

Our office hours are 8.30 til 5.00
You won't see me in the office at 5.01. But I will always be there between office hours. What they do in their own time is up to them, but when the office is open, they should be there. Poor timekeeping is just bad manners as far as I'm concerned!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:31, closed)

1 : would've - you're hearing it wrong
unless typed :p
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 21:11, closed)

NO!
Would've doesn't have an O in it. If people pronounce it with an O sound, they are saying the wrong words! And yes, through the joys of facebook, I see this grammatical atrocity typed on a nigh on daily basis. *sobs*
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:34, closed)

13.
I'm a bit porky, but it's not my fault. It's genetic.

I've a genetic predisposition to stuffing my gob with pie and cake and swilling the lot down with sugary drinks.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 22:24, closed)

Well that's just a load of rubbish.
It's in the same delusional category as "When I was four, I was allowed to fancy four year olds. What's changed so much in twenty years?".

Yes, I have just compared being overweight to being a paedo. I see nothing wrong with this.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:38, closed)

Now I fancy twenty eight year olds.
There are twenty of them.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 13:46, closed)

Adrian Chiles, yup
Before he ever opened his chops, he irritated me. A woman that ugly wouldn't have been allowed anywhere near TV cameras.

How did someone with a face like a bowl of dough with currants for eyes ever get on telly?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 9:54, closed)

He looks like he has had an allergic reaction to himself, and because of it he can't get away, so his fat face is stuck in that stupid expression.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 3 Apr 2011, 12:35, closed)

^^All of this
I hereby click repetitively
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:31, closed)