Jehovah Witnesses
They call sometimes and ask about God, wooden canoes and will you marry this ethnic lady, etc. Usually the reply is no, I'm busy doing more important things - like sleeping, but once I let them in!
I had read a pamphlet of theirs and finally got annoyed about it so I sat 2 of them down in the front room and turned on the DVD player. The conversation went like this;
Me- "So one day we will enter heaven and be good mates with lions, tigers and bears right?"
J's- "That's right, this is Gods plan, all of his creatures will exist together in peace, you know, the lamb shall dwell with the Lion"
Me- "You don't think that those ideas might be responsible for seriously screwing some people up then?"
J's- "How can it? These are Gods commandments and he only wants our happiness"
Me- "Watch this then"
I played a film called "Grizzly Man" and selected some of the best bits. For those of you who aren't familiar this is about a Californian dropout who repeatedly journeyed to Alaska on his own and mingled with Grizzly Bears in their habitat. The footage involves some shit-inducing moments when he is charged by adult Grizzly's and can only scream at them to make them go away. It is then that you remind yourself he is alone with only a camcorder (and insane). Eventually he 'made the trip' with a girlfriend near winter and both were killed by a Grizzly attack.
"Well there you are - Gods great plan for us" I said, thinking I could always give them a kicking outside to make them feel better.
They were quiet for a bit then realised it was time to go
Difficult to figure if it was them or me who were irrational on that day.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 14:57, 8 replies)

Is this irrational waffling,
or did you actually act the pillock for a couple of cold callers?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 17:25, closed)

Waffle... me?
This is true as are all my posts on B3TA, I wouldn't want to go down that other road. I did indeed act the pillock to a couple of cold callers (not entirely cold, had called before). Mainly to infer that their 'do good' religious philandering made me want to torture them.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 20:33, closed)

I find your honesty refreshing.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 23:15, closed)

This is excellent if true

(Panzerfaust, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 19:34, closed)

But those weren't Heaven Bears
Heaven Bears are nothing like those sorts of bears.
(Eukanuba, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 20:41, closed)

If I knocked on your door and you dragged me inside and showed me
Grizzly snuff porn I'd be inclined to need a god too.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 15 Oct 2013, 21:23, closed)

the bears they were talking about are clearly care bears

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 14:13, closed)

yep they just want to give you a big hug

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 16 Oct 2013, 16:17, closed)