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This is a question Job Interview Disasters

The boss showed me the shop floor, complete with loose floor tiles, out-of-date equipment and prospective colleagues eyeing me like a raw steak. "Christ, what a craphole", I said. I think that's the moment I blew it. Tell us how you didn't get the job.

Suggested by Field Marshall Dozington-Smythe (Ret.)

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 Nov 2013, 13:06)
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I failed a newly-introduced option-based telephone selection process for B&Q, which would have otherwise led to a face-to-face interview.
This was after working for them for four years, and then taking a three-year break to go off to college. I guess their shelf-stacking standards must have soared in that time.

Probably just as well, as I later heard about the ritual humiliation that was their face-to-face ... sing your favourite song while doing a dance in front of your fellow applicants. What sort of fucking spastic comes up with this kind of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 11:58, 9 replies)
That sounds ace.
I might apply for a job there just so I can have a go.

It would have to be REM's Losing My Religion, surely?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 12:12, closed)
I'd do 78 revolutions a minute
then dive into the crowd and kick off.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 12:14, closed)
You'd be too dizzy.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 12:19, closed)
The wonderstuff can fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 12:33, closed)
I'M A FIRESTARTER
*ignites timber aisle*
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 12:26, closed)

You should have cut loose with a violently enthusiastic version of Killing In The Name.
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 13:34, closed)
I was considering either Colour Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex You Up" or Gary Puckett's "Young Girl"
just to see how embarassed I could make the interviewers
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 13:42, closed)
That, or re-enacting my favourite piece of comedy, Iannucci's "Ike and Tina Turner-o-gram".
AH WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 13:45, closed)
RIP Brian Hibbard.
:'(
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Nov 2013, 18:59, closed)

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