Job Interview DisastersThe boss showed me the shop floor, complete with loose floor tiles, out-of-date equipment and prospective colleagues eyeing me like a raw steak. "Christ, what a craphole", I said. I think that's the moment I blew it. Tell us how you didn't get the job.
Suggested by Field Marshall Dozington-Smythe (Ret.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 Nov 2013, 13:06)
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Best.Job.Ever.Alright Drongos!
Way back when, a couple of years before me 32nd birthday, I used to share a hovel with a bunch of smack-addict rent boys. The fellas didn't mind me crashing there as one of their 'clients' had a fetish for having large, hairy, greasy-cocked retards piss all over them whilst he stabbed himself with used syringes. Best thing about this job was that the guys always kept a few beers in the fridge for me - just so I could fill meself up ready for a pissing session whenever that particular punter turned up.
After five years of this lark I got a bit bored. The piss-freak customer stopped coming and the guys said they'd have to kick me out unless I could find money for rent. Not sure of what to do, they suggested I type a CV and get it out there. This being the early 70's, I had to fight to use the daisy-wheel typewriter and paper was hard to come by.
It took me a few months but eventually I'd knocked up a CV on the scraps of used toilet paper that my housemates threw at me. I carefully packaged up my resume and posted it through the door of the local bank. And would you believe it? I got a bloody job!
Turns out the boss of the bank was the punter who liked it when I pissed on him. For three glorious year I lived in a cupboard in his office, he fed me beer and donuts, and all I had to do, just five times a day, was stand over the freak, piss on him and watch whilst he stabbed needles into his not-so-greasy cock.
Ha! Bet none of you can beat THAT job!
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Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 11:21,
1 reply)
'Kin 'ell mate!Wouldja let me fucken finish?
Talk about spunking down the emu's throat ffs!
(, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 11:24, closed)
It certainly feels like it.(, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 13:41, closed)
Not so much hobbled by crazed fanas Golden Showered by man with genital hygiene issues.
(, Wed 27 Nov 2013, 3:22, closed)
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