my little nephew
who was 2 at the time insisted on staying in auntieswipe's room when we were all on holiday in antigua over christmas.

i wasn't quite sure on the protocol and ended up wriggling into my clothes under a sarong a bit like a reverse striptease artist. freddie looked at me and said solemnly,

"you've got reeeally big boobies. i've only got little boobies."

typical bloke.

also, as i am currently the only single one out of the 3 swipe siblings (there are only so many family occasions at which i can snarl "it's through choice " before i start to look like linda blair [or worse, cherie blair]), i had gotten stuck with the twin bedded room. freddie could not get his little blond head around this.

"whose bed is it?" he said persistently. "why is noone sleeping in that bed?" hmmmm, i'd quite like to know the answer to that myself! AND being smug-marrieded by a 2 year old. i might as well change my name to bridget and have done with it. anyway, eventually i growled, "it's the spare bed," and dragged him off to the beach.

two days later he saw me sitting on the spare bed to put my shoes on.

"you not sit there," he admonished me gravely. "that's SPARE'S bed."

i have no idea who he thought that was...

ps: poor little thing was 3 last week. he spent his birthday in the hospital being circumcised (medical reasons) and his party toddling around like a baby john wayne... it's a shame!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 19:31, 8 replies)

*click*
for reverse striptease artist! I know exactly what you mean.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 19:44, closed)

I like it
in sympathy for the poor little kid. No-one should have to endure having bits of their favourite organ removed.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 19:44, closed)

and also
because you said boobies.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 19:44, closed)

definately
extra clicks for saying boobies

and can i have a lick of your lolipop?
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 21:30, closed)

*clickety*
Most entertaining
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 21:46, closed)

don't change your name to bridget!
bridget jones should be shot in the face at close range.
repeatedly.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 2:40, closed)

^ THIS.
Finally someone says it - and people ask why I hate it when I'm single, someone invariably makes the comparison (doesn't help that I'm clumsy and always end up saying the wrong thing).
( Maladicta, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 15:43, closed)

@maladicta
she set the women's movement back about 20 years and reinforced the "stupid woman needs a man or her life is worthless" stereotype. i'd like a copy of that film.
and a hammer.
btw, is your name from monstrous regiment?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Apr 2008, 23:29, closed)