Way back...
When I was a young little turd, my mother used to make a little extra money babysitting some of the local neighborhood kids. One of these was the little brother of my best friend at the time.
Oh the stories I could tell. This kid had impressively high levels of stupidity.

Lets do this chronologically, shall we lads?

One of the first words he learned to say was "this". Which is all well and good, four letters is better than a lot of kids can manage. Only the other kids manage to work a few other words into their vocabulary. All he said when he was in my mother's care was "dis?" And he'd repeat it... over and over and over, the same tone and rising inflection. Dis? Dis? Dis? Dis? Dis? Slowly driving my young mind mad.

Fast forward a few years, he's now 6 or so and on his way to the toilet, only he doesn't quite make it. "Well fine," You say "not everybody got ahold of their innards by this point." Which I concede to be true. But this little boy's genius idea of cleaning his soiled undies consisted of peeing on them. While wearing them, in the middle of the bathroom floor. Cue much gagging of me and my friend, while my mother cleans up the resulting mess.

The last story I can remember at the moment, is one that isn't so uncommon I guess, at least in basic form and shape. Later in the year, after the bathroom incident...
His dad worked for a trainyard, and thus had an ample supply of those foam earplugs. Well our subject happened to get ahold of one, and the inevitable occured when it was passed on its merry way up his nose. So far that it couldn't be removed without surgery. But of course, surgery has a wait time, and meanwhile, things got infected, and flesh began to die. The smell that that child produced cannot be described in words, but even thinking about it, I catch the faint whiff of it, the smallest taste of that foul smell on the back of my tongue.
(UndeadChicken Eating poultry farmers since 1987, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 10:15, 2 replies)

was his name
ralph wiggum? that's the image in my head!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 10:21, closed)

He was chubby, stupid and blonde. What a surprisingly accurate comparison, Ms. Swipe.
(UndeadChicken Eating poultry farmers since 1987, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 12:18, closed)