A mole
One fine day, the cat is running around acting weird. On investigation, I discover he's brought in a mole, uninjured, which has managed to scuttle under the fridge.

I shoo away the cat long enough to poke the mole out from its hiding place and into a box, hoping to take it down the bottom of the garden and chuck it over the fence. Unfortunately, the bottom of the box falls out as I'm carrying it, said mole falls out and hurriedly burrows its way into the ground with the cat running after us.

The easy option here is to let the cat dig up the little bastard and finish it off, meaning a slow, painful and terrifying death for the mole, and me having to pick bits of it out of the carpet. Either that or it escapes and completely ruins the garden.

So I fetch the biggest hammer I can find, hurry back to the patch of lawn that's still moving and hit it hard. Repeatedly. Then let the cat dig up the body before confiscating and binning.

The cat sulked for a while, but at least it was quick and clean. (Edit - the killing, not the cat)
(lolwhites, Tue 27 Dec 2011, 20:51, 2 replies)

hammer time

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 28 Dec 2011, 11:08, closed)

Fuck
Your garden.
(anonymouse sitting in front of a screen since 1989, Wed 28 Dec 2011, 17:09, closed)