Scruffy bastard
There was this guy I used to work with, he was a nice enough chap, but he always seemed to get my back up. You know the type, roguish good looks, utterly charming and a bit of a rebel streak in him. The fucking cockstain.

Anyway, I was out of the office one day doing a bit of field work, and I ran into some bother. Everyone back at base pretty much left me to deal with it, except for Captain Magnificent, who felt the need to take matters into his own hands and come out to help me.

Ulitmately, I'm glad he did, I'd have been completely knackered if he didn't, but when we got back to work, he couldn't have been a bigger dick about it. We were sat around with a few of our mates, and this one really hot bird we were both trying to get into. He kept going on about how great he was, and took every opportunity to put me down and tell me I'm useless. I felt like I was 2 feet tall. Our lady friend saw what he was doing though, and pretty much called him a bellend before giving me a really passionate kiss. You should have seen the look on the cunt's face!

Anyway, turns out he had the last laugh. The girl turned out to be my sister, and my dad cut my hand off. Fucking nerf herder.
(Keiths Dad, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 14:00, 9 replies)

You
utter, utter, ba$tard.
Right up to "cut my hand off"
(Biff..., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 14:08, closed)

^This^
You got me as well.
(ladydyani, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 16:28, closed)

like old episodes of the fast show
I like this

/vigorous golfclap
(Cov Boy, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 15:11, closed)

Had it at the first line.
Then again, I'm a complete, total and utter nerd.

BANTHA PUDU MILA KUNIS!

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 15:37, closed)

You fucker
click
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 17:18, closed)

Thank you.
I actually smiled -- you had me fooled to the end.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 17:43, closed)

Worked this out by the second sentence...
...but liked it anyway, which is perhaps a testament to my geekiness. *stupid nerdy grin*

P.S. Han shot first!
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 19:27, closed)

No
I'm pretty sure Luke got the first shot.

It was a very passionate kiss.......
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Tue 8 Feb 2011, 21:58, closed)

Very good.

( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 8:43, closed)