Wedding Costs - Tight Scotsman alert.
Friend I've been fucking, invites me to a wedding 400 miles away. I caught a bus & train to meet him & waited 2hrs for him to meet me because he messed up his sat nav in a rush hour stand-still. I put up with his insanity, road rage & his interest in others, meaning I had to look after myself in a social situation where I knew nobody. All accommodation was free & I did 8hrs driving that weekend because he was tired. He sends me an invoice for £165 by email (entitled above) to cover half petrol costs and my drinks (£50 + £15) the other £100 he thew in by a miscalculation (his degree is in economics, WTF?). The email never even started with a 'Hello' & I was never thanked for accompanying him or for driving. Now he's less of a friend & more of a fuck... I should've given up straddling the Jock's cock for Lent & sent him this:

Dear John,

It is with great regret that I must inform you of my refusal to accept your latest request.
I was lead to believe that you held some form of higher education, with a speciality in accountancy. It is of my opinion however, that this has not manifested itself in our recent communications.

Based on experiences in our previous 'arrangements', I feel that there is no personal advantage to furthering any relations between us and will be therefore withdrawing myself from the possibility of such.

Should you feel that any miscarriage of justice has occurred and wish to proceed with any grievance(s); I am confident that you can find a way in which to air this appropriately and in a respectable manner which suits both parties, that you have the ability to contact me through the correct channels and that you will do so without neglecting to seek suitable advice.

Perhaps our paths may cross again when we are both a little wiser.

I wish you greater success for the future.

Goodbye.

Sincerely,


XXXXX.

The amazing woman you've been using regularly and will never have the pleasure of truly knowing.

x

PS. Thank-you for introducing me to girl2 this week, where you hoping for a threesome? GTFO & RTFM!
(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:38, 15 replies)

Hmmm, sending an invoice as a way to get a girl to dump you.
*makes notes*
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:41, closed)

Yes.
If she sends one back, she's a whore. Snatch 22
(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:53, closed)

Nah, just send him 20 quid, and say 'Sorry, but this is all I am prepared to pay you. The terms of our agreement required you were at least 5.5" fully erect. It was quite clear that a) even were you able to achieve an erection, you would hava fallen short by at least an inch, and b) you were unable to achieve a full erection' The £20 is made as a without prejudice gesture to replace the electric toothbrush'.

Accidentlly send it to his parents address.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:56, closed)

*click* (Win)

(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:59, closed)

Accidentlly send it to his parents address. :D
FoxyBox, your letter is way too nice...
(bovine intervention, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:53, closed)

Hmmm...
I'm not capable of evil... but I'm here to learn.
(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 20:04, closed)

publish his address here
We'll all send something nice to him or his parents. Better still, phone number would be good.
(justin(e), Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:00, closed)

send it send it send it ....

I collect roadkill also - it tastes better somehow
(AndySpanners not working too hard on, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:53, closed)

Send the DJ or an invoice for my time (inc. sexy time)?????

(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:56, closed)

send the DJ
I mean FFS who invoices for fuel ?! that's just tragically tight
(AndySpanners not working too hard on, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:02, closed)

It's filed & dated along with the email & my response
Considering the email was also marked ! for urgent, he has yet to patch through his bank account details for transfer... We'll see.

He obviously needs training.
Shame I'm so busy.

I might keep him as a pet for a while. Though I won't be feeding him.
(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:15, closed)

Get him
to send you his bank details, then accidently answer one of those emails from one of those lovely Nigerian princes, who needs help getting 5,352,043 US dollars out of the country, with those same bank details...
(Blue_in_Exile, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 21:15, closed)

*click*

(FoxyBox has mange, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 12:29, closed)

You came with a manual?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:34, closed)

It's the universal manual that parents have a habit of hiding from their children. It's called 'Moral Literacy'
It's a good read!

Probably the only reason I never sent the DJ to the DJ.
I have read it.


Moral Literacy: Or How to Do the Right Thing (Paperback)
by Colin McGinn

ISBN 978-0872201965
(FoxyBox has mange, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 20:01, closed)