Dear fellow kitchen user who steals all my milk


I'm almost certain I know who you are, and you know exactly what you're doing, since it's always my nice whole organic 2 pinter that you take the majority of in one go, leaving me a 1 cm dribble in the bottom of the carton. I also know it was you who took a frozen chicken breast and a pepper, and probably my sodding yoghurt that I was saving for breakfast.

What you don't realise it that I currently have access to two sachets of hospital-strength bowel evacuant. Maybe then you'll think twice before nicking my milk.

Lots of Love!
( Poppy The Platypus was abducted by an army of toast soldiers on, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:56, 12 replies)

Win win win.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:59, closed)

What you really should try
is having a nice little chat with this person face-to-face.

There's a website named passive aggressive notes, or something like that. Loads of people doing this sort of thing. Don't really get it. Just fucking have a go at them in person and that should sort the problem out. Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:04, closed)

Nah, exploding arse every time
Is it Picolax? If it is, Google "picolax + bluenote" for encouragement.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:06, closed)

Seems like a terrible waste of laxatives
That stuff could probably liven up an otherwise boring wedding no end.

Here's the website I was thinking of:

www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
( SpankyHanky, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:12, closed)

"Kleenprep"
Nothing remains; Nothing. Its very effective. or: "Golytely". In my opinion Kleenprep is superior.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 19:09, closed)

The stuff I have is Citramag so I think it's pretty much the same sort of stuff. I did try the nice and friendly approach but some people just won't listen. Luckily for them the sachets have a proper purpose, so they'll be getting away with their thievery for a little bit longer, but by god the temptation is there!
( Poppy The Platypus was abducted by an army of toast soldiers on, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 19:26, closed)

Just make sure they're going out for the day
doing something reasonably important, for added damage.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:11, closed)

Adding
green food dye to the milk might do the trick. They probably won't consume green milk.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 17:20, closed)

Used to drink double vodka and Jif lemon. Looks like dish water and stopped the invisible cunt minesweeping me.
(Spud Diechmann joined in!, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 20:51, closed)

Minesweepers are bad...
But surely that'd just look like a spit cup and, as such, may get topped up?
( snee held his breath since, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 11:10, closed)

Shit
That explains the oral thrush and facial herpes.
(Spud Diechmann joined in!, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 18:56, closed)

Poisoning someone purposefully
Awesome. That's always funny.
( __, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 19:15, closed)