Mike and Nathan
During my time at college I worked part time at a local Burger King to make some cash. Obviously, a few of my co-workers were not 100% all there but the two strangest were Mike and Nathan, two complete bullshitters.

Mike worked there for about 4 months when I first joined, and claimed that he was fired from his previous job after letting them clingfilm him to the top of a lampost and his boss took two hours out of his wages. In retaliation Mike claimed that he smashed his bosses car up with a sledgehammer.
He claimed that there is an abandoned train carriage under Bath Spa train station thats full of gold but nobody can get to it because its surrounded by poisonous gas and its haunted by the ghost of someone that died on the train.
Once he said he got into a fight in the town centre but when the Police couldnt restrain him, they had to call some off duty squaddies over to help out.
One time, a customer came in and Mike says "That guys a fucking dick, it might all kick off if he sees me here." I asked him why and he says "Well once he was giving me a lift home and the Police pull him over, and theres 2 ounces of skunk in back which he says is mine. I told them it was his and he went down for 2 years."
I cant remember much else he has said because it was a while but he also said that there is an underground city underneath Salisbury Plain big enough to house everyone in our small town and surrounding villages in case war broke out. Bizarrely, this actually turned out to be true.

The following summer, Nathan started working with us. Nathans mum was a drug dealer and I swear he must have been stealing her supplies because he was like Mike x100.
Firstly, he told us that he had been kicked out of school for breaking a teachers jaw (said teacher was about twice his size) and trying to beat another kid to death with a sledgehammer for telling the Police about his mum. When questioned about the sledgehammer incident again he said that he hadnt actually hit the kid but a teacher had found the sledgehammer and merely confiscated it from him.
He told me and another guy that he had been smoking crack from the age of six. This was probably true, because he was near enough anorexic.
We later found out the reason he was so thin was because (apparently) after leaving school he went on a two week speed binge and got so fucked up that he forgot to eat (for two whole fucking weeks) so he was rushed to hospital and put on a MORPHINE drip. He then went on to tell us that he would regularly take the drip out of his arm and by the time he got out he had filled up a Coke bottle which he gave to his girlfriend.
A female cusomer came in and Nathan points at her and says "She hates me, she fucking hates me. I beat the fuck out of her boyfriend twice in the same night". The fact that the customer was in her early/mid twenties and Nathan was a 16 year old drug addict who was barely over 5ft and weighed about 4 stone seemed to make the whole thing less beleiveable.
Finally, he told another kid that his dad used to be the biggest heroin dealer in town until one night some smackheads kneecapped him and robbed him and now he gets around in a wheelchair.
Everyone was happy the day Nathan forgot to turn up to his shift and never came back. Before he left, he gave me his phone number and told me to ring him if I wanted him to get me any "good shit". That was over a year ago now and funnily enough, I still havent phoned him.
(suckout, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:10, 3 replies)

What?
he also said that there is an underground city underneath Salisbury Plain big enough to house everyone in our small town and surrounding villages in case war broke out. Bizarrely, this actually turned out to be true.

Is it really? I can't find any references to it.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 16:45, closed)

I'd love to know about the underground city too.
Somebody once told me there was an underground airbase hidden under Cannock Chase. I suspect it's not so much a lie as them being completely hatstand.
(Big D, Thu 29 Nov 2007, 17:42, closed)

Bob Todd
This may be what you are looking for

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlington_%28UK%29
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Sat 1 Dec 2007, 17:05, closed)