Living The Dream
A few years back I was heading down to the river for a spot of fishing. The sea trout were running and I was looking forward to a few hours of peace and quiet on a deserted river bank. When I got there I could see this tall bloke fishing in *my* spot! Bastard! So I walked past him and we grunted:

"Morning" to each other and I set up my gear further down the bank, slightly pissed off that I didn't have the place to myself.

Over the next few weeks, this became a pattern. Most times, when I headed down to the river, there was this chap fishing as well. As time went by we got chatting, mainly about fishing and what we thought the fish would be doing and other nonconsequential things.

Then we used to met up in the pub and have the odd pint or two. And I learned a lttle about his life. He claimed to have "lived the dream".

He was a minor pop star with two albums under his belt and a record deal with Island records. He was friends with Paul Weller and had played guitar with quite a few of the legends.

Hmmmmm. Bullshit detector pinging a bit.

Then he lost his deal when Island Records was taken over and he'd fucked off to America to train to be a helicopter pilot.

Yeah. Right.

Then he was the "Eye In The Sky" for Channel 5 news in LA. He'd ferried Michael Jackson around and been to Neverland.

"Pick a buggy - have a drive around" squeaked Michael.

Then he trained to be a helicopter pilot instructor and spent the next couple of years teaching rich kids to fly whirly-birds. He found the disused set to "Little House On The Prarie" when flying around the back country of LA and him and his pupils used to land and break windows.

"PING! PING! PING! PING!" bullshit detector was going a million times a second by now.

Then he met and honest-to-god 18 year old Californian beauty queen and married her.

Come on people. Who the hell has a life like that?

Time passes. Due to changing circumstances me and the fisherman end up sharing a flat together. I own both of his albums. I've seen his helicopter license and his log book. I've giggled at his photo collection where he's standing by his helicopter gurning. I've see pictures of the beauty queen and since learned that she left him after a very brief marriage.

I've also met, and become friends with some of his band from the old days. Including his manager who is now the tour manager for The Prodidgy. (And you want to hear *his* tales sometime)

But the pathological liar bit? That he doesn't get up in the night, racked by the munchies, and eat every bit of food in the house. He claims it's mice. Who can cook.

And people think I've had an interesting life? You should talk to some of my friends.

Cheers

P.S. There's a few other people here on B3ta who have met and know this chap. They can vouch for all of this
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 0:05, 8 replies)

er...
Yeah, but they destroyed the original set to LHOTP...whatshisname who died of leuchemia never wanted it used again...
(twuntysomething, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 0:27, closed)

Yeah. Right.
.
Urban Legend I'm afraid.

The set was eventually destroyed by brush fires in the summer of 2003.

My mate lived out in LA in the mid-ninties when the set was still around on the Big Sky Ranch.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 0:43, closed)

I remember those fires in '03
And the ones last month are even more vivid and horrendous. I also remember the news about the set being burned down.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 6:24, closed)

Wouldn't be Andy would it?
Or am I way off the mark?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 9:35, closed)

Spot On
.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:37, closed)

Good old Andy
I had a vague recollection of you telling me this. But as with most of the times we used to meet up, we were both pissed as cunts.

How is he these days?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 13:07, closed)

bullshit!
trout can't run! they've haven't got any fucking legs!
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 21:18, closed)

You see
It's the little details that will trip you up.

You had me going there Legless, until notjustahatrack pointed out the fish discrepancy.

Better luck next time ;)
(Heggy, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 22:27, closed)