Serious as cancer
I've known TWO guys who falsely claimed they had cancer. Surely the king of all lies?

The first, Darien, I worked with. Needless to say he had a lot of time off for "treatments". He shaved his head and eyebrows, and when someone mentioned that their Aunt had cancer and she lost her eyelashes too, his were gone the next day. He was NOT well liked when people realised the truth.

The second guy, Karl, actually claimed his cancer was fucking TERMINAL. He was going around talking about the bands he was going to have play at his wake. What a fucking hero! He ended up moving to Scotland as obviously that's not really a lie you can back away from so his social life was fucked.

I actually nearly laughed in Karl's face when he told me he had terminal cancer as he was known as a complusive liar ( and claimed variously ot be a master chef, secret agent and/or ninja warrior) and I'd already falled for it once with Darien. Felt guilty for a while about that - hell, compulsive liars aren't immune to cancer - but was eventually vindicated.
( wangmaster2000, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:12, 23 replies)

I'm going slightly off topic
But this has prompted me to remember catching one of those bloody awful American talk shows (of the Trisha / Oprah variety) where 'ordinary' people openly discuss their problems in a way that should, frankly, be discouraged. This was back in the late 80's. I can't remember the subject, but somehow it got round to illnesses and got quite heated. One of the guests, incensed by a comment from the audience, screamed "and what do you know about it? I had a terminal illness once, and I nearly DIED"!!!

WTF?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:25, closed)

They nearly died, but survived long enough to have an unhealthy relationship with their boyfriend's brother's cat, while keeping their best friend in the dark about having a gangbang with a group of Transylvanian transvestites.

Or is that just me?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:39, closed)

Chickenlady...
It might just be you. Possibly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:40, closed)

No
Can't be - I don't have a boyfriend





*cries*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 11:42, closed)

Don't...
You'll have me blubbing like a girl. I'm a sucker for hard luck stories...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:11, closed)

*sobs*
No boyfriend.

No one loves me.

And my hand hurts.


wtf has the hand to do with it? I hurt it the other day and I want sympathy, it's got a big bruise!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:23, closed)

Hurty hand
There there *pat* it'll be alright in the morning. Now dry your tears...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:35, closed)

*sniffs*
Oh, thank you.

*blows nose on your shirt*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:48, closed)

Oh goody
I'm wearing a purple shirt, and I always thought that green went quite well with purple...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:54, closed)

And
the silver trails go with everything!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 12:56, closed)

True...
I'm a walking fashion icon today, obviously.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 13:09, closed)

I'm limping
Because of the hurty hand, obviously.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 13:31, closed)

Obviously.
This is veering into the surreal.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 13:34, closed)

This is b3ta
So surreal is entirely normal, obviously.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 14:09, closed)

Again...
true. I concede the point.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 14:16, closed)

Nutters
You are nutters you are
(HairyBaldy, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 14:22, closed)

What can I say?
I'm at work trying to get a business case finished by close of play today. And Chickenlady keeps distracting me.

Bad, bad Chickenlady.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 14:27, closed)

Me?
I've been good all day today...I've done some work, and now I'm going shopping for a new tax disc (oh joy!) and then a nice little jumper to wear to watch the rugby tomorrow.


/blog
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 15:04, closed)

Yes, you.
Would this be the time to add that I *hate* rugby?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 15:19, closed)

I'm not keen on rugby
I like men's thighs.





Yes I'm shallow!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Nov 2007, 19:05, closed)

Shallow's OK
Honest.

We seem to have hijacked this thread. Woo.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Nov 2007, 19:52, closed)

Hijack
Take this thread to Cuba!
( wangmaster2000, Sat 1 Dec 2007, 17:21, closed)

Cuba it is!
Whoosh!

Did you enjoy it?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Dec 2007, 9:48, closed)