Re: Compulsive Liars



I once had a manager like that. It was the brass-necked way she'd try it on when both of you knew she was telling whoppers that beggared belief.


Only in the civil service would they make someone who hated dealing with people into a personnel manager.

She'd tell you any old shite just to get you the fuck out of her sight.

Hi C, have you got the XYZ report at all?

"(Does 'rabbit in headlights' look) Err, no, no, I err, gave it to Mary, err yes, yes that's what I did with it"

Right so, I'll ask her for it shall I?

"Yeah, she'll have it."

Cue one trip to Mary's office to be told that there's no XYZ report and that C was supposed to have handed it in two days ago. Back we go again.

C, Mary says she never got the report.

"(Laughs nervously) Oh, that old thing here you go (Hands over manky, crumpled sheet of A4 with some old shite scrawled in biro)"

Er, thanks. You don't have the full detailed report then?

"I'm working on it right now. Tomorrow ok?"


She then would go 'sick' for the rest of the week with one of her umpteen mystery ailments. She used to get a mad hypochondriac fit whenever some deadly plague was supposed to wipe us all off the face of the planet and insist to her long-suffering doctor than she had Ebola or whatever the "We're doooooomed!" disease of the moment was.

When it came to lunchtimes she used to ostentatiously nibble distastefully at an apple while making "urgh" faces at our choice of sandwich. "Ooh, how can you eat that muck, it can't be good for you." (Looks at apple as if there's half a worm in it) "Oh, I can't eat this, I'm not hungry at all today." Very noble I'm sure but we all saw the contents of your bags of shopping. Umpteen "This is not just wanky mono sodium glutamate, this is M&S overpriced unhealthy mono sodium glutamate" meals for two destined to be meals for one. Along with every flavour of crisp going, several tubs of ice cream and half a bakery of cream cakes.

Instead of coming over to the pub with the rest of us for a few drinks and a relaxing night of jolly conversational-type fun, she had to pretend to be busy with umpteen charity events, film & theatre premieres, etc. The pathetic thing was that Mary (she of the no report) was the one who did the charity stuff and one of our number, Gary, was doing the film and theatre stuff - yet C would somehow expect us to believe that it was she who was doing it and not them.

Her utter lack of life experience and no friends meant that she had to make up a fake life out of whatever us, her work colleagues, got up to. She was in her late thirties, had never owned a passport never mind actually left the country yet used to claim to have been to all sorts of foreign destinations - coincidentally enough, usually around the time one of us lot came back from said destination.
(Fanta Menace Is tall enough to see over the fence, Sun 2 Dec 2007, 17:26, 1 reply)

he he
"Only in the civil service would they make someone who hated dealing with people into a personnel manager."

And THAT, folks, is why I'm joining the public service.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Mon 3 Dec 2007, 10:21, closed)