My uncle
is more full of bullshit than a constipated male cow. He's told me straightfaced tales of how he saw a man get his fingers cut off by an industrial laser and not notice (my uncle picked them up and handed them back to him), and how when he visited the graves in Normandy and uncovered a buried tank on the beach. Over the years we've kind of come to accept his stories with a pinch of salt, but nothing comes close to the story my dad told me about him.

About seven years ago my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not a particularly nice thing to happen to anyone, and to make things worse her husband (afforementioned uncle) started having an affair with the woman next door. One night he's still not back from work and my aunt calls him to ask where he is.
"I'm working late tonight," he says, "I'll see you later."

She's about to hang up when in the background of the call she hears a knock at the door and a dog barking. Only, it's not only in the background in the call, it's coming from next door as well. So she runs round there to find him on the phone, stark naked with the woman he was having an affair with.

I wish there was a happy ending to this tale but the affair carried on until the woman from next door also got breast cancer, and my aunt and uncle had to move house just to remove the temptation. That's love for you.
I'm pleased say my uncle isn't a blood relation, he's just the man my mum's sister decided to marry.
( krang, Mon 3 Dec 2007, 21:52, 3 replies)

not so far fetched
i saw a friend accidentally slice a very big lump out of the side of his hand with an industrial laser, didnt feel a thing.

the ones used in surgery are typically 30W, this was 3KW (metal cutting co2 laser), it sliced it in an instant, with a neat puff of smoke ...
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 2:02, closed)

do what I do
call him your Aunt's husband, it doesn't aknowledge any relationship!
(loki lie smith kiss me til I'm in a coma, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 2:22, closed)

A female cow??
To be fair, a male cow would be impossible... a male OXEN would, and would be commonly known as a Bull. a cow, is specifically a female bovine...

sorry to be a smartarse
(EvelcyclopS, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 11:23, closed)