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This is a question Lies I told on my CV

I've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.

My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.

(, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award
my cv states that i got a d of e award. this is a lie.

as those of you who have done d of e may know, you have to complete 4 sections: a 2 day trek, physical, skills and community service.

so my friend and i chose care for animals. we worked in a petshop at weekends. one day, the owner left us alone for 5 mins. my friend, whom we shall identify correctly as sam, decided she could cope with cleaning out the canaries.

she could not and one made a desperate bid for freedom.

there followed about 10 mins of benny hill-esque panic as sam chased the terrified feathery little twat around the shop with a net. eventually i told her to leave the poor thing alone. at which point it perched obligingly on the top of the display board in the window. sam could not resist. she pounced once more with the net...

... and shoved it, beak first, into the window, where its poor little neck snapped. there it was, for all the world to see, stuck between the glass and the display board, a dead bird with a broken neck. that only works for a butcher, not a pet shop.

needless to say, we were both booted off the course. but having done the stupid walks, in derbyshire blizzards, with a tent pitched on a 45 degree slope, with a mad cow mooing in pain all night right by my head; having sat through tedious hours of skills to learn criminology; having gone to months of aerobics, i am damned if i am not getting any credit because of sam and a net!

apologies for length, it lasted longer than the canary.
(, Fri 7 Jul 2006, 10:51, Reply)

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