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This is a question Lies I told on my CV

I've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.

My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.

(, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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Not so much a lie on my cv,
as a lie on someone else's.

My first ever job was with a recruitment agency called 'Sal-Tech' and being the 'boy' in the office was underpaid and generally treated like shit. My boss was a semi retired woman of nominal sanity and an insoucient alcoholic bent.

On my final day, I vowed revenge and, naturally, got drunk at lunchtime. When I came back, I picked the first cv I could find on the database - a Mr R Putta if my memory serves me well - and set to work.

'Our candidate has an absolutely enormous penis', it began, his hobbies including such activities as 'child abuse' and there was mention that should any prospctive employees offer him the job, he would suck their helmets 'to full completion'.

I printed off some copies of his cv and posted them, along with a Sal-Tech compliment slip to such companies as Marconi, Glaxo and a number of telecommunications companies.

A few days later I received a letter from Sal-Tech asking if I knew anything about some cvs and that they were taking the matter further.

I shat myself - but managed to type up an unsigned letter, effectively blaming it all on the backward girl who worked in accounts.

To this day I wonder what ever happened to Mr R Putta. Bet he's earning more than me...
(, Fri 7 Jul 2006, 19:47, Reply)

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