I generally don't lie
... not because I am lovely, but because I am lazy. The upkeep of a lie requires more energy than I am prepared to spend.

Nonetheless, I couldn't face telling my ferocious German auntie, of whose judgement I live in constant fear for some reason, that I'd met my Canadian now-husband while playing World of Warcraft. It was all too much. First, I'd have to explain the internet to her. Then, I'd have to explain MMORPGs to her, and convince her that it wasn't a shameful waste of time, and that neither of us were total losers, that he was just a blue collar guy, and that I wasn't going to emigrate etc. etc. She'd absolutely have a meltdown about the whole thing. I resolved to tell a great honking fib to keep her sweet:
"I met Mr. Badger at a cocktail evening in Vancouver while visiting a high school friend who now teaches art at the university there".

She was not satisfied with this. Indeed, she was surprisingly pissy about it and harangued me with questions about the affair until well after we'd married and I had, in fact, emigrated. I had to come up with more and more elaborate biographical facts about the non-existent high school friend, my husband's provenance and occupation, and Vancouver itself (I have never left the airport there). She was very down on the whole thing and straight out told me that I was stupid and that this man was "a drifter" and not to be trusted. The waves of emanating scorn could be felt across the Pacific.

Eventually the festering guilt and inability to embroider further on my bullshit got to me, and I 'fessed up on a visit home. I met this man playing Warcraft. That's it and that's all.

She was thrilled. And relieved. And absolutely enchanted by the concept of online romance. "Ach- so it was meant to be, then". I could have wept. Or punched her. Or myself. I'm not sure which.
(lonelybadger, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 2:10, 5 replies)

Punch her

( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 4:32, closed)

I like your practical approach to these situations
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 5:55, closed)

Trust your auntie!
Aunties are like mums. They always know best.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 9:41, closed)

"convince her that it wasn't a shameful waste of time"
Now, that would be an impressive feat of lying.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 10 Mar 2012, 21:08, closed)

Ve?

(Dermot O'Logical, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 14:40, closed)