when using a public toilet, grab a hand-full of toilet paper and wipe the seat.

The benefits of this are three-fold (three ply)
1: you have already established that there is enough bog roll to accomodate you
2: you may have wiped AIDS off the seat, saving expensive medical costs later
3: your stool now has a soft landing, helping to eliminate the dreaded 'splashback'
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Sat 30 May 2015, 15:52, 6 replies)

they only sure way to avoid infection in public conveniences
is to shit into your hand and lob it over the cubicle door from a safe distance
(lol man river definite greek god, Sat 30 May 2015, 16:01, closed)

maybe make sure the cubicle is unoccupied first

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 30 May 2015, 16:04, closed)

where's the fun in that?

(lol man river definite greek god, Sat 30 May 2015, 16:10, closed)

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 30 May 2015, 16:24, closed)

Naaah.
You've established that there was enough bog roll until a moment ago, and that there's an increased likelihood that there isn't now.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 31 May 2015, 10:34, closed)

It also has the added benefit of "Parceling " the poo
so it doesnt leave a tigers back
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 2 Jun 2015, 11:49, closed)