Don't get stoned in your lunch break.
I used to work in a tiny freight forwarding office on Hull docks - just me, another clerk, the secretary and our boss in one room. For some reason we were given an hour and a half for lunch, something I always damn well made sure I enjoyed to the fullest. On one such occasion I went home and found my doley mate rolling (as usual) a massive spliff. I knew I shouldn't have but the job was so frigging boring that day I decided it wouldn't hurt to partake, and consequently got far more stoned than I'd imagined I would - very stoned indeed in fact. I spent the journey back to the office attempting to mentally prepare myself for the afternoon ahead and on arrival had reached the conclusion that acting as normally as possible would be the best approach, and so, with a deep breath, confidently strode through the office door...

...and kicked the waste paper basket (with not inconsiderable force) horizontally across the room where it bounced off the opposite wall, scattering its contents in the process. In some kind of attempt to make light of what had just happened I turned to my boss and said, with all the dignity I could muster...

"Oops, big food!"
(Haywood Manley, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 17:48, 4 replies)

i fucking love this.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 13:14, closed)

This is brilliant! Top marks to you.

(Document Pocket, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 14:54, closed)

This should win.
As it's ace.
( underpont making all kinds-a-gains, Fri 22 Jul 2011, 17:04, closed)

Agree
Tops for clickability.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 12:35, closed)