I like how you list a handful of 'unique' examples for which equivalents could be found in any developed nation on the planet.
You've certainly made a coherent and edgy point there. Yup. I bet you could even spell 'bastion' if you concentrated
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:34, 2 replies)

I think the worst thing about this country is how you can be a copper-punching sex offender and get let off.
b3ta.com/questions/purefury/post2107021
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:36, closed)

I do hope that Paul Dacre is reading.
This is BROKEN BRITAIN at its finest.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:38, closed)

Oi, you!
You calling me a nonce?

Outside. NOW!
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:45, closed)

Fuck off, nonce.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:16, closed)

Fuck you, bitch.
I'll write a proper reply when I've finished fisting your mum with a leather glove covered in bull semen.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:37, closed)

Bulls live to between 10 and 14 years of age.
NONCE!!!!!
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:52, closed)

Sorry. She doesn't do that sort of thing with nonces, nonce.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 19:03, closed)

Bad news
His mum's over 18.
(Eukanuba, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 21:56, closed)

That is an accepted slang term for one who fucks underagers, so, yes.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 10:56, closed)

Oi Badger, I'm talking to you!
You even think about laying a finger on my cousin (even though she's 17 now) and I'll peel your skin off like an onion. Then sprinkle with vinegar. Then remove your eyes with a blunt gimlet.

Then I'll pull your tongue out and remove it with a blunt knife.

And finally, I'll invert you, shove a funnel up your anus and pour boiling oil into it. [1]

[1] Which is what they did to one of the Henrys at Berkeley Castle, so history records.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:57, closed)

Erm...don't you mean 18?
There's something not quite right here.*

"So, where's the sexual fantasy come into it? Only some kind of nonce could read a sexual fantasy into that situation.

So, research clearly indicates that 1. you can't recognise a joke when you see one (see earlier link) and 2. you're a fucking nonce who got a boner when I mentioned my 10-year-old cousin. Who, btw, is now 18"

^your comments from the noncepunch thread

*You're a nonce
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 16:02, closed)

17. She's 18 in about 3 weeks. Close enough dammit.

And I'd still kill any fucker that laid a finger on her.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:36, closed)

Don't do it, you have too much to live for!

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 17:57, closed)

I'm pretty sure 'close enough dammit' won't hold up in court, just so you know.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 18:18, closed)

I doubt it.
I'm sure you'd be overcome with jealousy but you sound like a massive fucking damp melt. You'd probably just hide somewhere and sniffle into your cardigan sleeve. You nonce.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 19:36, closed)

Actually I'm an expert in martial arts...
I'm a black belt in origami.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 20:12, closed)

No, I looked on wikipedia and bastian is is a German short form of Sebastian.
As a surname, Bastian may refer to:

Adolf Bastian, a 19th century anthropologist
Ali Bastian, an English television actress
Bruce Bastian, an American computer programmer and businessman
Fritz Bastian, an American tennis player
Gert Bastian, a German military officer and politician
Henry Charlton Bastian, an English physiologist and neurologist
Mary Bastian, a Tamil Human Rights activist
Michael Bastian, an American fashion designer
Noah Bastian, an actor

Clearly this is what he meant.
(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:16, closed)

My spell link chequer is broken on Firefox...
and that's how they spelled the kid's name in The Neverending Story.
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:44, closed)

Can't you stop thinking about kids for one minute?

(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 11:10, closed)