Sitting in our local this very afternoon
There's a sign on the door that says "Dogs Welcome." There's a non-dining area at the back where people take their dogs and it's a great Sunday place after a long walk.

I don't pretend we own the place but over the years we've probably spent the GDP of a small African country there, as have the other dog owning regulars who relax in the back room on a Sunday afternoon.

It's a dog friendly pub. There are 3 distinct areas of the pub, and one of them has dogs in it which is not, then, the best place to sit if you don't like dogs and for the elderly couple in question clearly a mistake.

When we got there there was a palpably awkward atmosphere. On the positive side I suspect that the two old knackers had probably said more to each other than at any time in the last ten years - along the muttered but deliberately audible lines of "smelly dogs...".."shouldn't be allowed...".."ruining our Sunday..."etc.. There was - I should add - plenty of room in the rest of the pub and, prior to our arrival, a Labrador and a Spaniel, both well behaved and under control in the dog room.

Our boys are well used to being in the pub - in fact they love it because they get fussed over - and settled down immediately but the seething from the corner became even more visceral and incandescent.

Dogs are innocent of shame and propriety and have no concept of social niceties. Ours are fed on a well balanced non-supermarket diet but - well the bottom line is that they do, on occasion, emit fumes with eye-stinging, paint-peeling, Geneva Convention breaking acridity.

And just we needed it most one of them guffed. Copiously. The sour faced old biddy's blue rinse collapsed and her dismal husband turned a spectacular shade of puce - and off they scuttled, clutching their halves of lager, muttering incantations about awful awful dogs and what a disgrace and writing to whoever we didn't vote for.

And by hell we laughed until the fart-induced tears were mingled with laughter-induced ones.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 18:08, 7 replies)

unless you fuck dogs, they're not your boys
you infantile dog fucker
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 19:22, closed)

^Thank something or other for the gift of combined nihilism and misanthropy,^
without them we'd never have such gems to brighten our dark days.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 21:38, closed)

If you fucked a dog
wouldn't the proper term be 'your bitch'. 'Your boy' would properly designate a menial servant.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 22:23, closed)

If you don't fuck your menial staff then capitalism has failed, you commie scum.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 9 Dec 2012, 22:57, closed)

The lovely Mr Ring Of Fire calls our chickens ‘The Girls’. As far as I’m aware she’s not had relations with any of them.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 10 Dec 2012, 12:58, closed)

I can't believe she hasn't shown you the videos.
Search youtube for "two chickens one cunt"
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 18:01, closed)

So your story is 'you fuck dogs'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Dec 2012, 12:32, closed)