More "things that arn't drugs"
A lad I went to school with who was overweight, VERY overweight, pushing 25 stone last I heard, was bored one day. Not having any drink or drugs, he went for the ribenna option. The greedy bastard drank a full two liter bottle, which apparently made him feel drunk. Now, I did the maths on this. Ribenna should be diluted as 1/5th of a 250ml serving (50ml). This provides 33% of your daily recomended sugar intake. 2000ml of Ribbena is 40 servings. 1/3 of 40 is 13.3r. In essence, he had almost two weeks worth of sugar in a few hours. No wounder he felt funny, it must have been a major sugar rush.

Any one want to test it out?
(Mong goose, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 8:55, 9 replies)

don't try this at home
I was on the wagon for a period that happened to coincide with freshers' week. I joined in the rugby club ritual *massive beer* humiliation routines, but with Ribena (fizzy, of course. I have class).

I can report with some certainty that necking 9 pints of fizzy Ribena at competition speed makes you feel fucking terrible.
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:15, closed)

you were drinking with rugby players
Perhaps it was the MASSIVE BOOZE they were spiking your ribena with all through the night that made you feel shit?
(mersault, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:18, closed)

very possibly.
on a related note, I was doing some medic training and we had a session on catheters, and particularly the suprapubic catheter, where you basically whack a large bore cannula straight into the bladder through the abdomen.

Anyway,apparently it is quite common for big fat rugby players to drink 12 pints and pass out (who knew), only for their learned bladder control to stay active while unconscious. This can lead to the bladder expanding so much that it kinks the urethra so nothing can come out.

When the urine starts backing up to the kidneys, something VERY primal goes off in the brain saying GET UP NOW YOU ARE GOING TO DIE sort of thing.This results in complete panic and sometimes major damage/death if the bladder can't be emptied the normal way.

so.... one day this big lump of a prop forward rocks up in A&E, visibly shaken and in great distress, with a clearly swollen bladder poking out of his belly. Recognising the seriousness of the situation, the doc goes swooping over with a cannuala like a bic biro and whacks it in his guts, resulting in a 15 foot golden arc of beery piss shooting across the room for about three minutes until they could get something to catch it in.

Apparently the bloke stood there going 'aaaaaahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' having quite frankly the best piss of his entire life for about five minutes.

And weirdly enough, I'm secretly quite jealous...
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 9:30, closed)

"And weirdly enough, I'm secretly quite jealous..." Hahahahahahaha
*fwaps*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 10:33, closed)

BIg fat rugby players?
We prefer 'big boned' or 'chubby funsters', I'll thank you to remember. And I think you'll find the preferred option for drunk, unconscious rugbyists, is to swamp. Works for me every time.
(Tighthead, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 11:09, closed)

Nope
My father-in-law drank 4 pints of sugar cane juice one lunchtime. He went pale (ish – he’s black) cold, clammy and semi conscious. I really thought he was going to die. Then he perked up and didn’t die.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 10:20, closed)

hrm. I'd imagine the sugar would be less of a problem than the potentially-fatal water intoxication.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:00, closed)

I'm guessing that the chubby funster was glugging the stuff without diluting it first, thus making it a more manageable 2 litres of water, rather than an estimated 15 or so, which would (you are quite right) be a rather dangerous quantity of the wet stuff.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:18, closed)

Drinking undiluted squash
will do not much except make you shit through the eye of a needle for some time.
( user_names_suck, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 0:18, closed)