Personal effects
I fell through a house in El Salvador a few years back (half-built, drunk and running etc.) and ended up in 'hospital' with a considerable amount of wood in my bum (not in that way!).

Anyway, I don't remember much, thankfully, but as I was being discharged (less than 24 hours later!) and stumbling out the front door, one of the orderlies comes running after me, jabbering away in foreign, tears running down his face, thrusting a plastic bag my way.
I didn't remember bringing anything with me, and I was somehow still in my original clothes, so I didn't understand what he was on about.

The whole A&E fell silent as I looked into the bag. About a foot and a half of gory timber befell mine eyes, whereupon I did emit a girly yelp. The natives thought this was hilarious - 'doctors', 'nurses' all in peals of laughter.

What could I do? promptly took the bloody wood and chased the nearest titterer around the room with it until I collapsed all over again ...
(Clerk T Hazarde are all the wine, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)