I was working backstage
on a very well known major musical starring a facially disfigured guy in a mask.

Every show, at interval a bunch of us used to convene in one of the actor's dressing rooms for a cuppa and a chat. I would always sit on the floor, and one night (we think), I was bitten by a spider, probably a couple of times. I didn't notice when it happened.

I was fine at the top of Act 2, but by the time the act's opening number was over, I had sweats and chills, severe abdominal cramps, I couldn't speak, could barely stand and my face, hands, tongue and throat were swelling - the last two particularly serious, as it threatened to cut off my breathing. An ambulance was called for me post haste.

The ambos were great. They didn't pre-judge anything, spoke to me like I was human and gave me a good going over. They found two spots where there appeared to be tiny pairs of puncture marks, looking like spider bites, and told the docs when we got to the hospital that they thought that was the cause of my problems.

However, the two doctors at the hospital were having none of it. I was young, I was dressed head to toe in black (a necessity of the backstage gig, but I guess they didn't know that), and I worked in showbusiness - therefore, I must have taken drugs, because that's what all those young louts in the entertainment industry do. They were absolutely determined that that's what happened.

I realise A&E must see an awful lot of fuckheads who take things they shoudn't, but for fucks sake - if two experienced ambos are saying they saw spider bites, and if the patient is ill, scared, but otherwise compus mentis, is pointing to the bites on her arm and is obviously not just having a bad trip - then maybe the problem really is a spider bite, despite the fact the patient is wearing black and works in a theatre.

I was in casualty with no relief for many hours. No attempt to identify the spider (obviously, because they didn't believe me) or give me anything to relieve my symptoms. I simply had to wait until the symptoms (and the incessant questions about what drugs I had taken and accusations of lying) passed. At one point, as I had a little sort of fit where I struggled particularly hard for breath, the doctor yelled at me to stop it, like it was my fault, or I had some control over it.

Sorry, there's no punchline. I was just lucky I wasn't bitten by a funnel web or something, because I wouldn't have been believed.
( HairyCanary as Ann B. Davis as Alice, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 11:59, 4 replies)

Softly he sang to me, in dreams he came.......:D
One of my friends recently got bitten by a black widow....it was horrendous - his arm swelled up, he was vomiting violently. Not sure how it is in the rest of the world, but here in the US you can only get ONE dose of anti-venin for a black widow bite in your entire lifetime. He refused, and was in hospital for 2 weeks.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 12:05, closed)

Oh, that sounds awful.
One dose in your lifetime? Ridiculous.
( HairyCanary as Ann B. Davis as Alice, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 0:06, closed)

That is just...**splutters**
Sue 'em!? Report them at the very least, twunts like that should not be allowed to practise...if anything, what they did goes against everything about diagnosis from first principles that they're supposedly taught from day one.... yeaaargh **gos off to splutter some more**
(ifonly, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 15:34, closed)

the only problem with that is
that they'll have already written drugs as the cause on their forms, probably adding that "the patient is a liar and tried to pass it off as a spider bite".
i'll give you one guess as to who the judge would believe.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 18:28, closed)

Bingo.
And the stupid thing is that it happened in Australia - a country known for having all sorts of creatures great and small who can kill you with a single bite. So a spider bite is not outside the boundaries of reasonable possibility.
( HairyCanary as Ann B. Davis as Alice, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 0:09, closed)

that's the problem the world over
there are always a few cunts who make everyone associated with them look bad. unfortunately, if those cunts are doctors, a lot of trust is lost.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 1:05, closed)

I should have tried.
It was a long time ago now. I don't remember exactly why I didn't, but I'm guessing it was because I'd already been accused of lying once and figured if I complained I'd probably just be accused of lying again.
( HairyCanary as Ann B. Davis as Alice, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:48, closed)

This reminds me of my poor mum who has epilepsy. When she was 17 or 18, she was at the mall with some friends and had her first ever seizure. She hit her head (hard) on the cement floor and an ambulance was quickly called for her. When she came to, she was extremely confused and disoriented. The ambulance staff kept asking her what drugs she had taken and she tried to convince them that she hadn't taken anything and there was something very wrong with her, but they didn't believe her. Her epilepsy wasn't diagnosed until she was 40 and had a grand mal seizure in her car (fortunately, she was able to pull over to the side of the road in time).
(Tarana, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 1:38, closed)