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This is a question Doctors, Nurses, Dentists and Hospitals

Tingtwatter asks: Ever been on the receiving end of some quality health care? Tell us about it

(, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 11:49)
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Weekends! Wives! Ducks! Casualty!
This weekend was spent with my family. Those of you that know me are aware that I have an ex-wife (who is now my girlfriend) and a young son.

As is usual, I had planned a virtual extravaganza of fun - Friday we could have a takeaway, Saturday we'd feed the ducks and have a swim, Sunday we'd take his mum (and him) to the local wildlife park before having a another swim and a nice meal.

Friday went well.

Saturday was nice, but we had our swim earlier than expected and went out to feed the ducks a second time.

There's a duckpond near the house, and about a hundred ducks that wander around the area more or less non-stop. They're tame, and friendly (in fact one appeared in the back garden with 17 newly hatched ducklings).

This went well, but as we were putting the empty bag of breadcrumbs into the bin everything went black and swimmy.

I'm told that I staggered wildly, flailing my limbs about the place before landing, with a thump, on my arse. It took me a few moments to get entirely to grips with what had happened as I felt a huge pain in the side of my head, and felt sick.

This feeling didn't abate, so, having read a lot of these posts I went to the hospital with the missus to get checked out. A&E was mayhem, my son was excited and I felt rough.

The nurse came to see me and asked what had happened. I referred her to the missus who explained, with no sympathy and a lot of giggling, that I had been hit in the side of the head by a flying duck. I had, apparently, in an attempt to stop my boy going near the dog poo bin, stepped into the flight path of the world's hardest mallard.

Bloody hell. Incidentally, when I asked my missus why she hadn't warned me she responded with "I couldn't think what to say!' Erm, "Duck!", perhaps would have done.
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 9:56, 6 replies)
I can see your obituary now.
"After maintaining a standard of hard living that would likely have killed a lesser human, the reformed, fit, and sober DP was killed by a pretty little bird. This just goes to show, doesn't it?"
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 11:19, closed)
Christ, I know.
If I told them, the guys I work with would never let me forget it.
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 11:21, closed)
Are you Dr Cox from Scrubs?
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 15:08, closed)
Have a clicky
for this weeks first officelol. Bear in mind it could have been worse - it could have tried to rape you afterwards:
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:17, closed)
Oh my days.
that is fucking horrible.
(, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 5:51, closed)
wait, wait
as funny as this duck tale is, I want to know the salacious details of your private life. Your girlfriend is your ex-wife? A triumph of hope over experience? Best of luck to yous anyway.
(, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 19:14, closed)

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