Victorian Sex Toys
Many moons ago I had to have a few cumbersome fangs removed. A compulsory procedure due to 'overcrowding' or some such dentist propaganda.

I settled into the big slippery doom throne and had my fist few pegs ripped out with Herculean ease. Then it all went a bit tits. Having tried just about every masher, gouger and skewer available, my dentist at the time disappeared into the back room only to reappear clutching a rusted old biscuit tin. Fo' real.

It seemed that the final tooth was what is known in the trade as a 'right cunt.' Anyway, this tin was home to all manner of horrible fucking devices, mostly resembling painful Victorian sex toys. After some rummaging she produced what I can only describe as a hand drill (google it). Now, the hand drill is a fine tool for a craftmans workshop but it does not inspire confidence when in the theatre of dentistry.

By this point I was feverishly trying to disappear into my happy place as the dentist savaged my mouth with barely contained glee. Within a few minutes however the tooth was free and readers, it was a beast. The root of the thing had a nasty twist and came to a perfect sharp point. The other dentist folk crowded round, if only for a glimpse of this magic object.

Afterwards I ambled down the rood with phantom facial palsy, beaming with the knowledge that I had produced the most badass tooth in the history of mankind. It felt like my mouth had given birth to Chuck Norris' boots.

For weeks following I would get the thing out at every available opportunity, regaling my subjects with the whole sordid story over and over again. I've never had any real fears over going to the dentists but now that I think back I haven't been since, oh dear.
(Pat Shatner ,in it for the buzz, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 11:39, 5 replies)

Sounds like
we had similar shaped fangs. I had my wisdom teeth removed because they were growing sideways and had the bendy roots as you describe. No need for a hand drill though.
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 12:08, closed)

you should wear it around your neck
like Crocodile Dundee
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 13:31, closed)

I bloody should,
might even imbue me with some of the same animal sexuality as Mr. Dundee.
(Pat Shatner ,in it for the buzz, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:47, closed)

I believe the term..
POIDH applies here
(MissFlee tried again on, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 20:17, closed)

It was very real. Don't be misled by my zesty prose. If I find the bugger there will be pictures ASAP.
(Pat Shatner ,in it for the buzz, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 23:39, closed)